eVeRyThInG gOnNa Be aLrItE.... bE sTrOnG.... beLiEvE...

2008-11-30T18:57:00.003+08:00

okays... i noe it haS BEEN SUPER SUPER LONG TYME SINCE I BLOG... =)
Mls lar seh.. =)

4 dose who wans 2 noe.. yesh i fail my TP!! bloody hell tk bagi chance langsung... haish!! tk per... i noe i will pass da 2nd tym.. =)

my lyf has been great!! yesh.. thks 2 boyfie... who pamper me.. alot2... i lurve eu baby!! =)

Ouh wic remind me.. laz fri went out wif boyfie tiger courier frens go tamp safra play bowling.. LOL!! lyk so far... den TAKE BIKE cramp lar seh wif da K8..
den hazel, boyfie & me planned 2 surprise rizal wif bdae cake... lyk funni lor... eu shud c da luk on dat guy's face.. hehehe.. i cudnt help but laugh... haha.. lyk super surprise... hehe.. i hope he's hapi... haha...

sat went out wif boyfie just da 2 of us.. cz rizal werkin morning shift.. if nt sure da 4 of us go bike exebition at flyer... ate at poppye.. bump in2 boyfie mac fren & his gf... hehe... saw alot2 of bikes... BIG2 1s.. haha... Boyfie i wan r6??? hehe... den we go bugis.... den guess wat??? we go CHANGI.. haha.. far seh.. kaki ku cramp... tu lar... pandai sgt suggest changi.. amik kau... haha...

den jz nw follow my parentz go jemputan.. i dint go cz i lazy wear baju kurong.. so i sat in da car.. surprise2... azura cal me.. den we talk2 in da car... hehe... ouh i noe she's gonna blog bout me bein stupid dunoe hw 2 on da aircon... blueks!!!! dun laugh lar... den follow my parentz go queensway cz mum wanna get shoes.. lol.. in da end she bought crocs shoes.. haha... nt bad lar.. nyce2!!

I MISH MUHD SAIFULHADI... stupid!! dunoe hw 2 cal me..

ouh 2morrow werkin... so fast mon... =(

ok lor.. gotta go.. c eu wen eu c me..
take cre!!!

2008-09-15T22:51:00.002+08:00

helo earthlings.. =)

its been long tym since i blog.. bloody hell ive been terminate.. *argh*
haha.. ouh well ive long wan2 get out of da politicalily SP-ACE..
TOOOOpID!!
Eu guys wun wana noe da reason...... 4 me its STUPID!!
Yesh.. cz why.. cz i had lunch wif hazel.. cz why she's frm MANULIFE im frm AIA.. & why cz he bloody scared i xchange INFO.. lyk stupid i tel eu... ouh well... i guess ade rahmatnye.. bersabar jer lar eh... but heck.. angry lar sey.. wher can lyk dat.. lets all hope dey go SPACE.. hah!!

i get 400 plus onli.. oh well.. ok lar.. not dat bad i guess.. nxt tym remember learn my lesson.. i MUZ SIGN EMPLOYMENT LETTER.. if not dey take adv of me..

shit im rottin at hum.. da nk raye ni.. baju raye ku blum beli sak.. mampus!! color ape eh?? jln2 kat geylang tk de yg memikat hati lar sey.. *argh* strez2...

TP nxt mth on 28th.. cut of date is on 14th oct.. die2.. haven finish.. nw onli stage 4.. another 4 mre pracs.. die2.. no money oreadi.. eat my money onli.. expensive lyk hell... ouh parking suxs okay!! susah lar seh.. but okay lar.. ku manage lar masuk kan kreta tu kat slot dan tk kena kerb... haha.. shit.. shud i change my prac date?? tk nk ar... skarang da earliest is dec.. tk nk aku.. muz pass early.. i wan drive2.. yeay!!!! daddy dat subaru impreza is mine okay??.. =p

ouh dearest bf has been so supportive.. lurve him.. =) yesh!! 2 yrs oreadi.. wow!! diz yr gonna be 3rd raye celebratin wif him.. many mre years 2 cum kaes???? lurve eu 2 da bits & to da pieces...... =)

2morrow starts at manulife.. pray hard i will succeed.. trust me.. I WILL NOT ALLOW EU 2 LUK DWN ON ME.. thank eu ouh so much 4 terminatin me.. =)

2008-08-30T13:50:00.003+08:00

hello..

hah... 2 dae is oreadi sat.. fast hor.. well.. da wk jz flew by... Tues was my bdae.. hah!! Im 22 oreadi.. nutin much actuali.. pwetti much go werk..mit bf eat dinner.. ya dats all.. haha.. oh fast hor... mon is fastin mth oreadi.. haha...

i hate MON-FRIs can.. cz bloody hell i hate werk.. ops.. sorie 4 da rough language.. I DUN CARE!!! I reali CANT TAKE IT LYING DWN.. cz i was kind enuf 2 help den lyk FCUK kena scold.. DAMN her.. Wahliao.. ANGRY Lor..

yesterdae was complaining 2 hazel.. she jz ask me 2 leave... i reali haf 2 thank hazel & rizal lor yesterdae.. dey make me laugh wen dey noe im boilin hot inside.. ahaha!! Thanks2!!

shit.. nw rainin seasons.. cannot go out oso.. broke!! faster pay dae.. i wanna leave dat company.. i HAD ENUF!!!!

DUN CARE!! pay dae.. wif or w/o werk im leavin.. HUMpH!!

2008-08-21T16:02:00.002+08:00

Bleah!!

im at werk.. im blogging.. dun CARE!! werk suxs lor.. everidae kena scold!! not my fault hor.. KNN!! argh!!

Wantin 2 find werk.. but baby kip sayin wait til bonus.. lyk fcuk lor.. im breakin dwn.. im hangin on.. but til wen?? haish..

NVM...

I wait.. endure.. BLEAH!!!

bdae in 5 daes.. wohoo!!

PRESENTS??

Hehe..

2008-08-17T11:59:00.002+08:00

oooooOoOooOoOoKkKKkKkKkKkaAay!!

i noe its been super lOooOoOooOooOooOooNnNnNNnNnNnGgGgGggGgGgGgg TIME i update...

not wat lar.. I LAZY LAR.. lol..

well.... tings been OOKkKkK.. JZ DAT sum is sucky.. well normal..
werk has been i dunoe.. *sucks* 2 of my frens been terminate.. i tink lyk fcuk lor.. stupid ASS!! *angry* lyk fcuk.. gossips lyk dey big FCUK lyk dat... argh!!!!

i wanna go but baby sae dun.. wait til bonus den go.. lyk FCUK lor.. haish.. yup2.. continue for 3 more mths since financial yr is in NOV.. den.. BYE!! god dammit i cant fcuking wait!! lyk FCUK.. Eu tink im ure FCUKIN maid izit.. argh!!!

argh!! no more talkin bout werk... *angry*

ouh well.. yesterdae went out with da usual 3.. im super shocked!! hazel & rizal gif me SUPER ADVANCED bdae present lor.. PUMA bag.. *touched* *hugs* OMG!! i dint expect it.. baby got a zara men's shirt frm dem 2 for his belated bdae present.. touchin rite..

i wanna go sentosa again can.. sun tan again.. ahaks!!

ouh i went for car prac again laz wed.. hard lor.. hate circuits.. confusing!! i wan go drive out again.. dun wan stuck in a circuit.. TP in 2 mths tym.. die2.. muz get it all rite.. wish me luck!! haha..

9 more daes til 22nd bdae.. =)

*mishin baby*

2008-03-12T17:25:00.004+08:00

its been toOooOooOooOooOoOoOOoO long since i laz blog...
i guess... i got no tym..
NOT NO TYM..
MALAS..
hehe...
ouh well...
da overdue pics of sentosa..
not all..
lambat ar not load..
shud juz throw diz laptop away!!
argh!!

niwaes juz got back from polyclinic..

cough non stop..

irritatin la sey..

got 2daes MC..

YEAH!!

Can rez...

ouh...

GUESS WAT?????

went MOS Laz sat..

AKU gi sane..

IN PERSON!!

exagerating aku tau..

dose who reali noe me..

cant IMAGINE me being dere..

super packed..

cant even dance properly..

i dint even dance..

coz i was sick..

argh!

wasted..

but oh well..

it was NYCE.. ok la kan..

wat can i sae??

I WAS COMPLAINING TO BF..

i want holidae..

strez la werk...

dun werk can????????

tired la sey..

ouh my house.. lyk UPSIDE DOWN oreadi..

NO MAID!!!

TU ARH!!

use 2 it oreadi kan..

tk de mknan seh..

slalu mkn luar..

leceh ar..

dunoe wat 2 eat..

bf jz call..

yeah!!

mitin him later..

aite..

C EU WEN EU C ME...

2008-02-17T22:48:00.004+08:00

why do i feel dat my blog is dead??
i guess.. nw i practically got no tym 2 updates..
im lyk so so tired nowadays..
werk.. mit bf... sleep..
argh!!!!

ouh well...
IM MAIDLESS NOW...
SHIT..
NW PRACTICALLY HAF 2 DO ALL DA STUFFS MYSELF..
ARGH!!
nw i mish my maid..
argh!!!

i was so dumb... i 4get i got my basic theory evaluation 2dae..
YESH 2DAE!!
dumb me..
NW HAF 2 BOOK AGAIN...

i nid a break frm werk..
lyk seriously..

i FREAKIN NID A HOLIDAY...

bf... wheres my cable car ride & my sentosa trip??
im stil waitin....

2008-02-04T23:00:00.000+08:00

Presenting my EVA SO ADORABLE-IRRITATING BF......
=)

hehe..
k2... i noe... but ya.. i mish my baby..
he's been werkin nite & dae..
its kinda ops nw..
im sleepin.. he's werking..
im werkin he's sleepin...
ouh well...
i dunoe...
i JUZ MISH DA OLD TYMS...
me & him... @ hum @ nyt..
talkin on da fone..
den we sleep..
eu noe.. NORMAL TYMIN..
haish...
i guess i haf 2 accept it i guess..
HEART PAIN eu noe seein him werkin lyk dat....
haish...

i wish i cud help him..
all i cud do nw..
is pray his mum will be well again..

dun worie baby.. wateva it is.. im here wif eu k..

17 MTHSARY... 2Morrow.. yeah!!
pass da 1 mre mth again..
eu nvr noe hw much eu mean 2 me...
i lurve eu truckloads..
ure owaes been dere 4 me...
thru my ups & my dwns..
i noe...
we fought alot...
but im glad we hang on..
dose words r juz words of anger...
i lurve eu more den words can sae...
i nvr lurve ani1 lyk i lurve eu..
thks 4 lettin me be ME..

eu seen my worse side..
i seen urs..
& dere many more 2 come..
wateva it is...
eu gif me sweet moments...
i treasure everi moment wif ya...

LURVE EU 2 DA BITS & PIECES...

2007-12-23T22:04:00.000+08:00

its been a long tym since i updated.. lotsa tings happen...

in short.. we almost broke up..

I DUN WAN IT 2 HAPPEN AGAIN..

I can c he's tryin 2 change... & im changin 4 da betta oso..

LETS MAKE TINGS WORK..

I LURVE EU BABY...

ps: lukin 4ward 4 our 16 mthsary... & my bear2.. & my flowers k.. lurve eu.. *MmMmuAaCcKkKsSsS*

2007-10-18T22:42:00.000+08:00

I noe its a lil late.. but ya..
here's wishing everi1 selamat hari rAya... maaf zahir dan batin.. salah silapku harap dimaafkan ye.. mane yg sengaja atau yg tidak disengajakan..
duit raya???
hehe..
da besar pun nk duit raya...
haha..
mmmm..
ya...
its been a long tym since i updated..
lotsa tings been happenin..
me & bf..
we fite alot..
haish..
psl dia ar smlm.. ri ni aku mc.. sampai deman.. pening sak kepala aku..
haish..
woke up wif bengkak eyes..
tah la..
but im hoping 4 a betta 2 morrow...

ps: baby.. eu noe i luffe eu so so much.. i dun wanna lose eu.. im scared.. we gone thru alot seh.. ups & dwns 2gether.. tk kan senang eu nk let go gitu jer seh..
im mishing us... da wae we were b4..
can we go back 2 13 mths ago?
-missing ure lurve-

ouh well... diz are all random pics aniwae..
ade lagik.. tapiku mls... ni jer la eh..

2007-10-07T14:44:00.000+08:00

yessh.... im back...

hehe...

wanna blog but lazy la...

mmm...

yesterdae... went to highlite my hair... hehe... back 2 blond la.. =)

bf accompany me... guess he was bored waitin 4 me coz it took lyk 1 hr plus.. hehe.. den mum msg me askin whether wanna buka 2gether anot coz she @ far east wif my dad... told her im wif bf... she said ok & she book another 2 seats for both me & bf... hehe... bf was nervous in seein my dad again.. hehe... but it al went well... =)

b4 headed 2 far east...went 2 bugis 2 get my skinny black pants.. hehe... yeah!! finali got it.... so yup2... buka-in wif da parents & bf.... i tot dad wud disagree wif me in ridin bf's bike... guess he got ovr it... yeah!!! dad even ask me ok hw he fall dwn ok.. & ask him 2 take cre... hee!!

afta buka-ing me & bf walk round far east & got myself an engrave ring & got bf a chain.. yeah! hehe... afta dat headed 2 geylang... whoa... jam pack sia... got bf's baju kurong... buy sum food den jln.... ish... cant be bothered 2 walk 2 dere... alot of pple sia...

thks bf 4 having dat dinner wif my parentz.. i appreciate it alot... i lurve it baby.. MmMmmuUaAcKkKs!!

shit... 12 more daes 2 another H.I Paper.. im dead... LYK SO DEAD.. aargh!!

2007-09-30T15:19:00.000+08:00

hokays.. mum commented i luk thinner nowadays..
2 me i luk da same la...
hmmm...
okies.. dat was a sidenote...

yesterdae went 2 tempah baju raya.. diz yr green colour... okie.. noe wat... i tink wat mum sae is true la.. my waiseline use 2 be 29-30.. yesh.. i was dat fat hokays.. i got a shock of my life wen da auntie measure me and sae 26... i was lyk WTH!! huh?? auntie eu sure anot?? she measure again... ya... IT WAS 26... hee!!!
kurusnye aku.. wahaha... and NO... I DINT DIET... hehe...

afta dat went geylang... PACK 2 DA MAX hokays... menyumpah sak aku jln sane... eee!! geram tau.. pple keep steppin on my slippers... aargh!! den mum keep saying sape suruh pakai slipper... aku lak kena lagik... eeee!!

i mish bf la..... he stil sleepin la... argh!!
its hard wakin him up...

ok... phydi.. eu gotta be understandin.. he's werkin... he juz got back..
mmmm...

on da sidenote again.. i wanna do my hair.. i wanna highlite.. i wanna rebond my hair...
im waitin 4 my pay la..
lbt seh..

argh!!

k la..
wanna go cal darling BF again.. 2 wake him up..
wanna mit him..
yeah!!!

2007-09-23T11:27:00.000+08:00

okies.. im back..
i've been wanting 2 update but no tym..
werk.. bf.. study.. sleep..
penat tau..

talking bout study.. my exams for health insurance is nxt fri...
argh!
k.. wen was my laz exams?
laz 2 yrs?
mmmm...
nervous la..
argh!
pray dat i pass...

tings aint goin rite..
trust..
i dunoe..
i luffe him...
i care 4 him but does he noe?
if carin 2 much cost al diz stupid fites mayb i wun care animore..
for da betta i guess..

yesh.. he makes me smile.. he makes me laugh..
but he sumhow he change.. or izit me?
i dunoe..
i guess i MISH US...
DAT 1 YR AGO US...
DAT "SWEET HONEYMOON PERIOD"
"wen da lame we take each other for granted"
i guess datz true..

niwaes... da long ovrdue photos..
enjoy..

2007-09-16T13:18:00.000+08:00

-tinking-

hmmm...

i guess its been a while since i blog... kinda lotsa tings happen.. im juz 2 lazy 2 update i guess...

im stil tryin 2 trust.. i guess its stil hard adapting wif all da tings dat happen da past wk.. i dunoe..

but da boy has been tryin 2 make it rite again i guess..

i guess i'll c how tings gonna go on frm here..

im not giving him up..

i luffe him wae 2 much 2 let him go..

if he cud onli c.. i care 4 him..

I LUFFE EU!

Guardian Angel- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace And now that I'm strong
I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you falI I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall) I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and Please tell me you'll stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

2007-09-08T08:54:00.000+08:00

i promise myself wateva da outcome is..

I WUD BE STRONG & NOT BREAK DOWN!

I TOLD MYSELF NOT 2 CRY...

I TOLD MYSELF NOT 2 BELIEVE OTHERS..

I HAF 2 BELIEVE HIM!

but.. THE TRUTH HURTS..

HE FCUKING LIED!

IM HURT...

I DUNOE WAT 2 DO ANIMORE..

WHY MUZ HE DO ALL DIZ SIA?

APE SALA AKU?

im breakin dwn inside... i dunoe hw 2 take it animore... i tink he's changing.. he's startin back his lepak-in wif his frenz again.. not dat i mind... but FCUK!! until 7 plus in da mornin.. RIDUCULOUS KAN.. abih yg aku ni nk gi tunggu dia til morning.. lyk FCUK.. I HAF 2 FCUKIN WERK IN DA MORNING.. & DIZ IS FCUKIN SHIT EU GIF ME.. ape sala aku sak?

izit wrong dat i care 4 da 1 dat i luffe? its been a wk now.. i dunoe how 2 carry on ani longer.. if diz goes on.. i noe sumting gonna happen & i dun wan it 2 happen.. i luffe him.. but why is he doin diz 2 me?

WHY DA FCUKIN HELL DID HE LIED????????

2007-09-07T06:25:00.000+08:00

its been a yr since we're 2gether..

i dunoe wats wrong now..

dat anniversary date doesnt turns out rite & now we're stil fightin.. i hate da feelin i haf rite now... im mishin eu so much & it hurts ok...

im not suppose 2 up diz early.. im not suppose 2 cry 4 eu but den.. i cant help it.. why dun eu get it.. i juz wan a NORMAL DAE on ure off dae & eu haf 2 gif me all diz shit early in da morning.. im suppose 2 be werkin in da mornin & nw thks 2 eu... i dun haf da mood & energy 2 werk.. i dunoe hw 2 laz til 6 2dae.. argh!

i dun hate eu.. why dun eu get it.. i sae dat out of anger.. i sae 1 ting.. eu mean da other ting.. & nw.. eu do another ting.. i cant take it..

im burstin out coz 4 ONCE... i wan a normal dae afta wat we gone thru.. our buzy wrkin daes...

i dunoe now 2 handle it animore..

im breakin dwn inside...

why cant eu c.. i care 4 eu datz why im doin all diz..

i luffe eu..

i reali do...

sobs.. sobs..

i nid a hug!!

2007-08-28T22:41:00.000+08:00

dere's 1 ting wic i dun lyk...

i dun lyk wen he curse & swear @ me..
tears will juz drop...

i admit recently IM BEIN SENSTIVE.. wic everi lil ting dat he saes wic hurt me.. i wud cry.. yesh.. im bein a crybaby nowadays... sae wat eu wanna sae... i dun care.... i dunoe why im lyk dat... argh!

take 4 instance juz nw... had a stupid fite wif him... all bcoz of my reaction.. lyk fcukin hell wat eu wan me 2 sae.. argh! dunoe la...

yesh dear.. i admit i dun lyk eu werkin @ nyt... nw its owaes... i sleep wen ure werkin & eu sleep wen im werkin... we BARELY GOT TYM 2 MIT EACH OTHER... dat 1 hr b4 eu go werk & afta i finish werk is not enuf... we mit juz 2 haf dinner? i noe... its gud enuf dat we mit & spend tym but juz 2 haf dinner 4 dat 1 hr is not enuf seh...

nw da onli date we can haf is on sun... juz 1 dae 4 a date? i tink im stil gettin use 2 it... coz we use 2 go out lyk 2 3 daes 2gether... ya i noe.. tings change.. lyk eu sae both of us r werkin 2 earn money... mayb i nid tym 2 adapt..

i juz mish us...
da wae we were b4....

2007-08-26T21:35:00.000+08:00

its my 21st bdae...

so yup...

i shud be hapi...

*ahem ahem* *clear throat*

hapi bdae 2 me..
hapi bdae 2 me...
hapi 21st bdae 2 me......
hapi bdae 2 me...

spent da whole of sat & part of sun wif dearest bf... sat go town juz 2 eat burger king.. bf's treat coz he got his pay.. yeah!! i feel lyk a princess la.. hehe..

finali my cravings 4 da hersheys sundae pie is ovr... thks syg.. luffe eu.. *MmmUaCks*

bf... thks 4 spending my bdae wif me... it was nyce.. i luffe it..
da nite was well spent..
dun watch soccer too many la..
eu left me bored seh...
den i entertain myself.. tk besh la.. hehe..

den... juz nw.. noon... we went 2 eat SEOUL GARDEN...coz bf complain he was hungry.. & oso i tink bcoz we saw da segment bout food @ suria segar..
bf eat alot la.. til he said 2 me.. he wanted 2 vomit..
hehe...
tu la.. mkn byk lagi.. kan.. hehe...

bf... wateva it is... thks 4 everyting.. i luffe eu hokays...
i wan da bez in our relationship..
if im bein 2 much or wat.. juz be patient k..
i noe sumtimes im bein 2 much.. coz dat is bcoz i care..
luffe eu..

whoa.. its been a yr since dat bdae wish..
dat bdae wish came true..
laz yr i wish 4 sum1 who cares 4 me...
diz yr..... i wish 4....
nah.. let it be a secret....
lets juz c...
but im hopin it will come true...
* hope hope hope*

2 dose who wish me hapi bdae.. thk eu all so much.. i appreciate it.. reali... thks 4 da well wishes... luffe eu guys..

alrite.. gtg...
bsk keje...
*sigh*

2007-08-15T22:45:00.000+08:00

i dunoe where 2 start..

I BROKE DWN UPON READING lil bro's blog..

Nenek passed away peacefully on 8th Aug 2007... @ 4am in da morning..

4 dose who came... thks..i appreciate it..

liza thks 4 cumin dat fateful dae even though i noe ure tired afta werk da whole dae.. & thks oso 4 cumin wif khai 4 da kenduri laz sat... i nid all da support i can nw...

izwa even came dwn.. i dint xpect dat.. thks..

I BROKE DWN UPON HEARING DAT SENTENCE " NENEK KAU DA TK DE"... it simply means.. my grandma is no longer wif me...

dat wed..
4 am in da morning..
i'll owaes remember..
da luk on her face..
dat white cloth...
da funeral procession..
da burial..
da prayers..
dat cemetery...

i remember everi bits & pieces of da event..

Nenek I MISH EU!!! *sob*
i stil do breakdwn everitime i talk bout her..
i'll owaes remember her..
b4 her bedridden..
b4 she even got sick...
nenek wud owaes buy food 4 me...
she wud cook 4 me since ayah & ibu is werkin..

i remember wen i was small.. she wud be sleepin beside me.. huggin me.. kiss me on my forehead.. wen i wen skul she wud send me under da blok.. wait 4 da bus 2 come.. wen lil bro gi skola oso.. she wud wait 4 lil bro 2 balik den we wud eat 2gether..........................

dat smile of hers wud owaes be etched in my memory..
i cant 4get dat..

argh!

i can no longer continue..

tears juz keep droppin..

i mish her 2 much...

frenz told me... its betta diz wae.. instead of her carryin on wif da pain...
allah luffes her more den i do..

...........................................................................................................................

haish..
*sob sob*

i mish her...
she's da greatest granny i eva cud haf..
i'll owaes mish her...

lotsa tings happen..
me & boyfie.... ya.. we're fine...
syg,
im sorie i dint mean it..
eu noe i'll luffe eu baby..
im hopin tings wud turn out betta...

im juz depressed wif da passing of beloved granny...
im not use 2 seein DAT EMPTY ROOM WIF DAT EMPTY BED...

I NID A HUG..
SUM1 TEL ME ITS OK 2 CRY..
PLS..

2007-08-05T01:29:00.000+08:00

11 MTHSARY..

WOHOO!!

Yeah!!

baby, im so so glad we gone diz far...

sumtimes i juz wish i cud juz kill eu wif my bare hands wen we haf our stupid arguements dat we noe we can avoid.. coz eu juz irritate DA HELL OUT OF ME HOKAYS.. EU REALI TEST MY PATIENCE 2 DA MAX... but im reali proud 2 sae... i am stil standin strong & am stil lurvin eu so so much..

i luffe eu 4 wat eu r..
i luffe eu 4 wat eu make out of me..
i noe i can juz smile lukin @ eu..
laugh @ ure stupid lame jokes..
i noe i can juz count on eu 2 be dere 4 me..

ure warm hugs..
ure swit kisses..
ure care..
ure concern..
eu touched me wif everi single lil ting dat eu do...
eu make me fall & i noe its hard gettin up again..

i wan eu 2 hold me til the end..
i reali luffe eu..
& pls..
eu noe i hate al dose stupid fites dat we haf..
but 1 ting...

"eu done it b4.. doesnt mean eu wun do it again"
lyk i sae..
i stil do luffe eu...
my feelings dint change since day 1, it aint gonna fade away.. & i hope eu feel da wae dat i do 2..

2007-08-03T21:10:00.000+08:00

im tired frm werk..

im strez frm doin al dose paperwerk..

i was so lukin 4ward talk 2 eu...

& all i got was al diz crap frm eu..

wat sia..

argh!!!!!!!!!!!

idiotic shrek...

2007-07-31T15:52:00.000+08:00

hokays, hw shud i start diz..
alot been happening ovr da wkends..
hmm.. hokays.. well... BEAR WIF ME.. ITS GONNA BE A LONG ENTRY.. =)

laz thurs, afta da interview @ AIA.. ( i got da job as admin asst) met up wif boyfie & his frenz @ bukit merah.. go survey super 4.. i curse & swear hokays... 1stly, i was hungry.. 2ndly it was rainin so heavily by da tym we reach bendemeer.. 3rdly.. i was so wet.. 4thly, da places dey go so far.. eunos & ubi & mind eu.. i haven eat hokays.. lastly, afta i big round.. dey decide 2 get da 1 @ bukit merah.. da 1st place dey went 2.. cam mane aku tk merajok ngn dia.. penat ok... den lapar lagik.. *stamp feet* argh! ouh actuali da 1 @ ubi.. was PERFECT.. gud condition.. mthly instalment was not dat ex.. BUT DEN DA OWNER HAS 2 BE 21.. & DA DEAREST BF & HIS FREN IS NOT 21 yet.. KECIAN DIORANG.. but den.. da shop owner oso dint xplain.. mengamok seh.. but den ok la.. end of da dae.. dey finali got a S4..

Fri start werk.. 1st dae.. alot sia 4 me 2 learn.. al dose policies.. insurance stuffs.. argh!! pening!! *help help* but @ least da place dere is so so so much betta.. i lyk.. niwaes.. wish me luck in my new job..

sat was spent wif da famili.. went ct hall.. watch da NDP preview.. NYCE LA... took pics.. but den... i dint get 2 watch da fireworks..... coz mum wanna go hum early 2 get away frm da crowds.. ala.. dun care.. national dae.. i wan 2 watch arh.. boyfie... *HINT HINT* =)
ouh.. can i sae i dun lyk da crowdedness.. rimas!! da police.. argh!! i cant sae anitin.. but 2 words.. *frustrated & irritated* by dem.. I LAZY LA WANNA POST DA PICS.. It wil be posted la.. wen im abit rajin.. hehe..

Sun was spent wif boyfie & his mac fren & his gf... he pick me up.. went tea garden.. dey suppose 2 haf meeting or so i tink.. we reach late.. tink dun haf... sit dere 4 a while.. den decide 2 go cathay 2 watch simpsons wif da couple.. funni la da show.. GO WATCH IT HOKAYS.. =) but boyfie slept thru da movie... nvm.. his money.. hehe.. he paid 9.50 2 sleep inside da theatre.. but den cant deny.. da seat was so comfy.. we got da grand theatre & a couple seat.. mane tk.. haha...

Afta dat went esplanade wif da couple.. i bought mrs field cookies... hehe.. nyce.. den sit & chill.. his other mac frens came dwn oso.. by dat tym i was sleepy sia.. tired hokays.. den dey decide 2 eat @ lau pa sat.. dey eat satay i dint eat anitin.. drink coke.. i tink it was bcoz of dat... i dint eat much oso..
dat same nite i vomit.. den got a bit of blood.. scary sia.. dat same nite oso.. I HAD A A MAJOR FITE WIF BOYFIE.. it dint help.. HE HANG UP ON ME.. i was in so much pain dat morning.. but i refrain frm callin him.. coz i noe he's gonna shout @ me 4 i dint eat much... mayb my fault 2.. but den if i dun feel lyk eatin hw seh.. tk kan nk force myself rite... *sigh*

yesterdae (mon).. i dint went 2 werk.. mc.. went poly.. OMFG!!! da queue was damn long.. & i tot ok la.. get mc den.. get medicine.. den go hum rest.. noe wat??? da doc HAD 2 REFER ME NUH.. A & E.. lyk WTF!! A &E?? AKU KAT SANE BUAT APE SEH.. da doc refer me coz she scared i got internal bleedin or wateva... i was lyk huh.. she was SCARIN ME HOKAYS... so i went dere ON MY OWN... Boyfie got skul.. alot of tings came 2 my mind... wat if i nid 2 be admitted? hmmm.. but dat wil be quite fun.. hehe..
ouh.. da a & e fees r so ex sia.. 80 bucks.. OMG!!!!!! waitin 4 a gud damn 2 hrs ++ HOKAYS.. sakit pun jadi baik.. niwaes.. doc do al dose checkups.. blood test & stuffs... done al dat.. END RESULT- IM FINE.. YEAH!! doc saes alot of acids inside me.. winds coz of skippin meals.. got al dose dreatful medicines.. suxs sia.. teach me 2 eat properly..i dun wanna wind up in hospital for checkup again..

met up wif boyfie afta dat.. ate lunch.. he make sure i ate da medicine.. punye la tk sedap.. went pasar mlm.. 2 find ayam percik.. he lyks it dere & i luffe 2 c da luk on his face wen he eats.. lyk he's reali enjoyin it..haha..

niwaes.. went back 2 werk juz nw.. hand in my mc.. den dey ask me go hum..so off i went.. bought mac breakfast.. hehe.. ouh.. im on mc til wed.. wil be back on thurs.. 2 daes of werkin... sun off 2 sentosa wif nuyun & fir.. yeah!!

ps: boyfie.. da cable car ride ok.. eu stil owe me.. luffe eu.. *MmMmMUuUuUaAaCcKkKkSsS*

2007-07-26T04:04:00.000+08:00

*listening to ruang rindu-letto*

fcuk...
i mish him lyk hell..
i dunoe why he owaes haf dat effect on me afta we fite..

criusly..
i nvr meant 2 do al dat..
i ask him dose stupid qns he hate..
wat cud i do?
i was feeling insecure ONCE AGAIN..
til he sae he was dissapointed in me..
FCUK!!
he doesnt noe wat i went thru in da past...
he doesnt hokays..
he onli tink of his anger..
wat bout mine?
has ani1 ever tink i oso haf feelings?

bf..
if eu happen 2 read my blog..
i reali meant wat i msg eu juz nw..
i reali do luffe eu..
no1 can take ure place..
i was onli askin..
da insecurity come knockin once again..
i tk ragu2 ngn our relationship..
i was us 2 carry on..
i....
LUFFE EU 2 MUCH 2 LET GO..

*sob sob*

2007-07-21T16:33:00.000+08:00

msgin a fren fren's wif no intention is NOT WRONG..

NO.................

HE DINT DO ANITIN..

HE... DINT GIF HIS NUMBER..

IM DA 1 WHO IS OVEREACTIN..

HE ONLI SAE PAPE MSG.. ENDIN WIF..........

TAKE CRE SWEETY..

Ouh fcuk eu..

who wuD end a msg wif take cre SWEETY wen eu fcukin din noe da girl.. a girl who is ure fren fren's.. it ure fren who ask eu 2 msg her izit?

OR EU WERE TRYIN 2 FLIRT ARD? go fuck off hokays.. ARGH!! fcuk la.. im am SO........................... BELIEVIN EU.... NOT..

klau kau tk de intention buat ape kau msg die? Tk tau la.. pape k..

aku da mls..

kau pun penat kan nk tdo..

go AHEAD!!

Ok..

keepin quiet wun solve da prob..

so DERE I GO..

i blurt it all out..

my words always end up us 2 fight..

my angryness always get the betta of me..

he was convincin me dat im da onli 1..

he was explainin 2 me da reason bhind da msg..

i was tryin 2 believe coz i tink he reali luffe me wif all da sacrifices he made..

spendin his onli free tym wif me..

BUT MY EGO.. my stubborness in me REFUSES 2 BELIEVE HIM..

I GOT ANGRY WIF HIM..

a nyce conversation ended wif me slammin dwn da fone..

i hate it ok..

I HATE DA FEELING OF ANGRYNESS INSIDE ME..

I FCUKIN DUN MIND HE MSG ASKIN DA GIRL WHETHER SHE IS HIS FCUKIN FREN FREN'S OR WATEVA.. BUT DO EU HAF 2 END DA MSG WIF A FCUKIN TAKE CRE SWEETY..WIC GF WUN HIT DA ROOF SEEIN DAT ENDIN MSG.. SWEETY? WTH WERE EU TINKIN SIA? FCUK EU HOKAYS!!!

EU FCUKIN DUN EVEN MSG ME DAT LA EU FCUKIN SHREK!!

FCUK!!!!!

YESH.. I AM FCUKIN MAKING A BIG DEAL OF DA TAKE CRE SWEETY COZ I CANT ACCEPT DAT EU WUD SAE DAT 2 A GIRL DAT EU BARELY NOE.. OR WATEVA DAT EU CAL HER.. URE FREN FREN'S...

baby.. i stil luffe eu.. i always do luffe eu..

But da trust in me wif eu & girls

nids more convincing..

da laz tym was oso da same tellin me ure fren ask eu 2 msg..

den dat PARTICULAR NAME ended up IN URE DIALLED LIST WIF URE XCUSE AS TANYE KHABAR..

lyk.. i dunoe 2 trust eu anot..

fcuk!!

dere i go again..

lUFFE I WIL STIL LUFFE.. TRUST.. EU NID MORE DEN DAT..

2007-07-21T10:37:00.000+08:00

urs truly here is back 4 updates..

thks girls 4 askin & wantin 2 visit my granny.. thks 4 confortin me.. or... mayb i am tinkin of da worse.. but reali.. i cant afford 2 lose her.... k2.. syg sae big girls dun cry.. i shud be strong.. yeap!!!!

niwaes.. i start werk oreadi.. data entry.. keje senang gile nye.. but da environment... hmmmm... ok la... its da mind ure own bisness kinda ting.. ala.. aku kat sane keje pas tu alik per... so ok la..

Dearest boyfie came dwn 2 brickwork afta skul 2 haf lunch wif me.. hehe.. hw swit.. *smiles*

afta work go hum straight.. lam bas terlentok-lentok sak aku.. tired hokays facin da computer da whole dae.. reach hum eat abit.. watch tv.. waited for boyfie 2 cal me.. finali he cal hokays... talk bout him surveyin & him wantin a superfour bike.. -sigh- *shake head*

Afta dat, tot of sleepin.. & mind eu it was onli 8.. tired la.. but boyfie ask me 2 wake him up 4 work.. whoa.. diz 1 i noe.. if i sleep im gonna be dead 2 da world.. force myself 2 stay up til 10 plus.. watch tv & stuffs den cal him up.. i tink i slept on da fone 4 awhile... hehe.. he ask me go sleep while he go get ready.. i tot ok la.. klau tersada ker leh cal dia bout 3 plus 4 plus since he's werkin.. but i onli tersada kul 8 am juz nw.. whoa.. dat was 1 one of da nicest sleep in had in a while.. hehe..

hmmm... off dae 2 dae.. boyfie haven finish werk since yesterdae nite.. he onli finish later @ 2pm.. den @ nite his werkin again.. so 2dae dint get 2 mit him..2morrow i tink c hw la..

hmmm.. k la.. wanna go eat.. hungry sia..

C eu wen eu c me aite..

tk cre...

2007-07-18T20:22:00.001+08:00

pls dun go..
i nid eu in my lyf..
eu haf been wif me 4 21 yrs now,
caring 4 me since i was a lil girl..
eu took great care of me wen mum & dad is @ werk..
it reali pains me 2 c eu lyk diz..
it hurts me so much..
i noe.. ure in pain..
but nenek.. pls hang on 4 my sake..
pls pls pls..
i luffe eu so much..
i juz cant seem 2 let eu go..

i juz feel lyk breakin dwn each tym i c my grandma.. it hurts me so damn much 2 c her condition lyk diz..she nw all skin & bones.. she hardly eats.. she nvr talks.. she took care of me since i was small.. argh!! fcuk!! dere i go again..

bf.. pick up my cal..
ure gf nids 2 talk 2 eu..

2007-07-16T11:59:00.000+08:00

hokays.. where shud i start?
hmmm..
alrite..
im finali back frm my KL trip.. haha.. & i dint noe pple mish me.. =Pp... tired sia.. body achiin.. *hint hint* bf i wan massage.. ahaks..
i dint noe my aunties & my mum can reali shop.. penat seh ngn diorang.. 4 hrs hokays.. & dey stil can walk2 lyk nutin.. kaki aku da penat..haus.. nk li air lak.. takut nanti sakit perut.. argh!! i tot i was shopaholic.. i guess dey beat me hands dwn la.. hehe..
ouh... i went KLIA 4 da 1st tym.. jakun sak aku.. hehe.. but da tings dere so ex la. ouh.. i oso went putrajaya.. lawa sak tpt tu...i wanna go again la.. hehe...
niwaes...yesterdae reach spore checkpt jer cal bf.. hehe.. i mish him okie...
argh!! noe wat.. dad saes i luk more chubbier since da kl trip..
mane tk.. breakfast, lunch, dinner & supper smua ade.. argh!!
ya la.. i dint buy lotsa stuffs.. eat eat eat onli..humoh!!
nvm..
gonna lose wt again..
mish bf la..I tink gonna mit him later..

DA PICS....

square tree.. cute rite?

da girl wifout makeup..

yg ni aku da mcm anak pelarian.. hehe..

yeay!! KLIA..

2007-07-09T20:28:00.000+08:00

i tink diz photo of us is swit can..
I juz wish he can juz smile NATURALLY..
Oh well..
mit syg in da morning.. go teman him 2 take his bike wic is left lonely @ da carkpark da dae b4 due 2 tayar pancit..
den go bukit batok eat..
go westmall walk2..
syg eat a lot seh..
hehe..
DATZ NORMAL..
im gonna mish him can wen i go KL..

to her if she eva read diz:
i reali regret havin EU as my best fren.. kau nye pasal arh skarang.. AKU DA MLS ARH NK MASOK CAMPUR HAL KAU LAGIK..
MEMORIES R JUZ FCUKIN MEMORIES..
I DUN GIF A FCUK UNDERSTAND!!
TU SMUA LEH LUPAKAN ARH..
AKU TK KISAH ARH..
KAU YG BUAT AKU CAM GINI..
KLAU AKU KISAH PUN TK GUNA..
AKU JUGAK KAN KAU SALAKAN..
SO WHY DO I GIF A FUCK!!
DAMMIT..
SO GUD..
DA GIF BIRTH.. SO KEEP LA EH DAT CHILD..
I DUN EVEN GIF A FCUK WAT URE GONNA DO NXT..
fcuk..
cibai..
eh..
DA ARH.. MLS ARH BOBUAL SAL DIE BUAT MOOD AKU LARI SAK...

lukin 4ward 2 cal syg later..
mayb wat he sae is rite..
tk de kawan cam die pun baik arh..
aku tk rugi pape sak..

syg.. am gonna mish eu arh wen im away @ kl..
take care of ureself kaes..
dun naughty2 aite..
go skul..
b a gud boy..
i luffe eu baby..
*MmUaCks*

2007-07-04T20:48:00.000+08:00

alrite.. new blog skin.. yeah!!

i kinda mish bloggin actuali..

well.. not much 2 blog abt..

i've been cam whoring alot.. alot2 la..

fun fun fun..

laz sun suxs hokays.. dun be shock guys.. i SMOKE.. coz of all stupid reason.. i was strez up wif da arguement dat i haf wif bf... i noe its stupid.. i even got scolded 4 it.. i learn not 2 be so stupid i guess.. 1st tym.. but no worries.. i wun be smokin again..

tings haf change 4 da betta i guess.. i choose 2 believe dat he luffes onli me.. if nt why wud he bother wastin his tym on me rite.. yup2.. bestie is oso in luffe la.. she's so glowin frm it.. im hapi 4 her..

i tink im much happier nw.. ive 2 stop dose low self confidence tingy.. im ok.. im fine..
yeah!!

i luffe him lots can..

alrite lets da pics do da talking...

2morrow is 5th JuLy.. its my 10 mths wif him.. tym passes so fast..

happy 10 mthsary baby..
im so hapi 2 be wif eu.. eu lited up my lyf so so much.. eu taught me alot.. eu let me be my crazy self.. wen we fite i hate it so much la.. i noe it takes a lot of ure ego & pride 2 be so so patient wif me.. im grateful & i can c dat.. im tryin 2 be less stubborn.. juz be patient wif me & i show eu dat i can change.. i luffe eu so much.. & im gonna be wif eu.. wateva happens.. im gonna stand by eu..

2007-06-28T13:09:00.000+08:00

Hokays.. whoa..
was friendsterin juz nw 2 remove unknown & inactive pple inside my acc wen i come across barbara previous acc..
and...
add...
and...
i saw dose PICS LA..
*screaming*
wanna go run shut myself one corner la..
but on da other hand.. i cant help but 2 laugh @ myself.. hehe..
i tink i luk ugly hokays..
so chubby la..
but..
dearest barbara stil luk lovely la..
=)
not dat im prettier nw..
juz dat MUCH MUCH BETTA LA..
hehe..

da met up wif her @ vivo yesterdae was great.. damn.. i mish goin skul wif her can.. 2 yrs pass so fast la..
i mish mya's crappiness & her blurness.. haha..
mit up again soon babe..
shoppin diz tyme? haha..
alrite.. da pics.. laugh al eu guys wan hokays..
i dun care.. =)

DA DEN PICS.. =)

DA NW PICS.. =)

Dat was a lil sidenote dat i cant help but 2 blog abt.. =)

niwaes.. hmmm.. dearest boyfie has been so so lurvin yesterdae.. dunoe wat got in2 him.. but i loike can.. haha.. hugs, kisses.. nk lagi bole? =) stop it phydi.. pple readin rite.. so mushy2 4 wat.. hehe..

i guess.. im ok.. i got thru it.. i shud haf faith in myself.. he saes he lurve me.. so.. i believe him.. =)

baby, eu betta dun lie arh.. coz eu noe wat im capable of doin rite.. haha.. =)

ala.. he aint gonna be wif sum1 who haf a child wif sum1 else..

hah!!

ok.. im done wif diz.. =)

btw, no worries.. im ok...

thks.. cuzzie for juz LISTENIN 2 me..

i luffe eu can.. =)

2007-06-26T23:47:00.000+08:00

i tink i lost myself totali..

i snap @ da bf juz nw..
im sorie..i dint mean it..
but eu dunoe hw it feel..
i haf diz ting wif da "ex"
i hate da wae i feel nw..
i hate myself..
aargh!!
im not myself animore..
i snap easily..
i get angry easily..
where's da old phydi?
where's da bubbly phydi?
why does it always seem lyk my fault wen everitin falls apart?

i tink i am unreasonable @tyms..
i tink im selfish @ tyms..
insecure is written in my face wen al diz happen..
but i juz dun wanna lose wat i haf nw..
i admit i AM SCARED!!

i juz nid sum1 2 juz listen 2 me..
sum1 2 jus listen & not judge..
HUG ME & LET ME CRY..
PLS..

2007-06-25T03:54:00.000+08:00

we juz took diz laz nite.. & diz has 2 happen..

hot tears juz keep flowing & flowing..

ape aku buat sala?

juz 2 wait 4 a few mins & dat cause a fite btwn us?

dats so not fair..

ape aku buat seh?

HE SAE i was NOT BEIN UNDERSTANDING.. HE SAE AKU TK FAHAM DIA.. am i such a unreasonable gf??

i reali cant take diz animore..

it feels lyk thousand of knives juz keep stabbin me..

it hurts.. ALOT..

*sobs*

thks cuzzie 4 juz listenin.. i reali cant take it animore.. thks 4 listenin & understandin coz i noe i was cryin so badly dat i cud hardly talk..

why do i feel he's not tellin me anitin?

he's not confidin in me animore..

wat am i?

am i not his gf?

i feel so.. so..

AARGH!!!

*SOBS*

2007-06-23T23:11:00.000+08:00

i mish him can.. <3<3

i luffe her can.. <3

im ok.. no worries..
dun ask me qns..
dun ask why..

PERIOD!!!

Im gonna live life 2 da fullest..
setbacks wun bring me down...
bf sae im a strong girl...
4 once.. im gonna believe him.. =)

seein grandma condition deteriotes juz damper my spirits..
seein her juz lyin down breaks my heart..
i wanna cry wen i c her..
criusly, i luffe her more den i luffe mum & dad..
she's been takin care of me since i was born..
im told 2 be strong..
can i?

aargh!! fcuk.. c la.. juz talkin bout diz makes tears come 2 my eyes.. datz hw much she means 2 me..
grandma i luffe eu lots..

AARGH!!! bf dun werk @ nyt can.. i mish eu lots la..

2007-06-22T23:20:00.000+08:00

"i lost da bubblyness & innocence dat i once had..
i nid 2 find da old phydi back again.."

i lost myself..

im silently breakin down inside..

I WANNA SHOUT NO.. IM NOT OK.. DUN COME 2 ME OR ELSE IM GONNA SCREAM.. i cant do dat.. no.. da phydi eu noe wil nvr do dat.. coz she dun wanna worie everi1..

im puttin a brave front infront of everi1.. smile & laugh lyk i always do..

but da truth is.. i reali cant take it animore..

its hard bein me..

no1 understands..

hell.. sumtimes i dun even understand myself...

i nid 2 open up..

hold my hand tel me its ok..
hug me tite & let me cry..
sum1 pls understand me..

2007-06-21T00:36:00.000+08:00

ok.. im prayin dat diz ting actuali get publish..

coz 4 da past few daes.. diz STUPID BLOGGER TING HANG ON ME..

LYK FCUK HOKAYS..

Niwaes..

i dunoe..

i dun wish 2 talk much..

kinda feel down..

misused.. YES!!

ouh well..

mayb its juz me..

im dere wen pple nids me..

but..

den wen tings doesnt turn out da wae it shud be..

partly i get da blame..

coz i was dere..

no1 noes wat im feeling..

its lyk i get blame 4 EVERITIN..

lyk bein dere 4 sum1..

sumtimes im mad @ myself 4 bein dat wae..

sumtimes i feel so dumb..

aargh!!

words cant xpress wat im feelin inside of me..

its juz dat...

wateva la..

baby, faster come back hum la.. im waitin 4 eu 2 talk 2 me...

2007-06-15T23:39:00.000+08:00

im bored lyk totalli..

aargh!!

bf werkin so dint get 2 mit him 2dae..

i tink i nid 2 get use 2 not mitin him everidae.. coz im use 2 mitin him lyk everidae.. hmm..

niwaes.. yesterdae mit him up.. despite DAT I WAS STIL ANGRY WIF HIM..

sumhow he manage 2 pacify me..

i juz luffe da wae he try 2 pujuk me..

i mean.. he sux wif sugar coated words.. but he has his own wae la 2 pujuk me.. he juz makes me smile.. but i stil luffe him despite dat i sumtimes wish 2 kill him wen he totalli irritates me.. hehe..
wait.. i not dat bad hokays..

niwaes.. went 2 lido.. watch fantastic 4.. it was FANTABULOUS HOKAYS.. it was reali nyce.. muz watch... hehe..

den went 2 west coast park.. bf saes got swing.. wah liao trick me onli. dun haf sia.. nvm.. i climb da pyramid.. hehe.. persuaded bf 2 climb he dun wan.. (i tink he scared la) hehe..

nvm.. he dun wan.. i climb lor.. climb til da top.. hehe.. it was fun though..
syg.. ure baby is a kid @ heart.. =p

den go west coast hawker ctr.. eat.. haha.. i actuali wanted 2 juz drink sugarcane.. but we ended up sharing kway teow goreng.. haha..

so yuh.. 2dae din go out.. im bored.. aargh!!

2morrow got interview.. pls pray i got da job.. i reali nid a job badly.. im broke.. aargh!!

2007-06-14T15:33:00.000+08:00

I HATE HIM..

i juz dunoe hw 2 handle it animore..

i.... juz dun..

i hate bein lyk diz...

i reali do..

he change..

i dunoe..

he dun do da tings he do animore..

he dun treat me lyk da wae he did in da past..

he dun msg me sweet stuffs animore..

sumtimes i feel im da 1 always bothering him..

always callin him..

its as if im clingin on him..

i.....

2007-06-09T22:11:00.000+08:00

hokays..

im bloggin on a random..

im bored..

feel lyk doin nitin.. but juz sleep..

yes2.. been sleepin.. eating.. goin out.. sleep again..

hah..

i nid 2 find a job soon b4 i grow even chubbier..

companies.. pls2.. reply my resume..

i nid money 2 shop.. hah!! again..

niwaes..

i noe eu guys gonna laugh.. go ahead kaes..

I WENT JOGGING IN DA AFTANOON..

was so da semangat 2 siap2 den saw dat it was rainin sia.. was complainin 2 da bf.. he sae asl mara sgt ni.. eh.. mestila.. org da semangat2 nk exercise den ujan.. humph!! but den it finalli stop.. yeah!!

so yuh.. went 4 a jog.. jog2 til hkss.. was joggin @ da canal dere.. fuh!! penat arh.. mane tk.. da lame aku tk jog.. hehe.. da laz was..... hmmmm.. ouh.. ya.. laz yr i guess wen i was feelin strez out.. dat was in da past.. IM HAPPIER NW..

i nid 2 lose da fats la.. bf indirectly sae i fat.. huh!! nvm.. i PROVE 2 EU DAT I CAN DO IT.. & BUY DAT BIKINI DEN WEAR INFRNT OF EU.. till ure SALIVA DROP UHK.. .humph!!
*WISHING IT WUD CUM TRUE* =p

shud i follow 2morrow? bf ask me along 2zul bdae celebration.. smua lelaki seh.. got girls i go.. if nt im gonna be bored 2 death.. not bored la.. but all guys talk sia.. ouh well.. c how la..

i mish hangin out wif gfs.. its not dat i dun lyk hangin out wif bf.. but he's a guy.. sumtimes wen i shop wif him oso.. he lyk so bored lyk dat.. SHOPPING IS NOT 4 GUYS.. rarely do guys shop... dey c diz.. dey try on.. dey lyk dey buy.. girls r SO SO DIFF.. we're more FICKLE MINDED.. wanna buy anot.. buy wear anot.. do i luk nyce in diz anot? eu noe dat kind of qns..

gfs were r eu?

i juz mish hanging out wif my sec skul frens.. wen r eu girls reali free? dayah, liza if eu girls read diz.. tag me.. we reali nid 2 mit up.. im depriving of girls dae out..

i mish hangin out wif my 2 rtrc gile prewtti babes.. i do mit up wif barbara sumtimes.. but its been a long tym since i saw mya.. she's bz i guess.. flight stewardess mah.. hmm.. guess al bz la..

nvm..

i mish bf can..

i mish my shrek!!

=p

2007-06-08T13:24:00.001+08:00

well..

tings btwn us got better i guess..

but im stil hurt..

2sae im not angry @ him.. i noe im lyin...

but dat feeling of angryness is slowin subsidin i guess..

yesterdae met him 4 breakfast.. we make peace wif each other..

but dear,

eu haf 2 regain back my trust in eu again..

den mit barbara.. went vivo.. she passed her test.. congrats girl..

we walk2.. talk2.. & SHOOOPPPPPPPPP2!!!

Hehe..

retail theraphy does werk a bit i guess..

@ diz rate.. im goin broke soon.. aargh!!

bought dat tanktop @ levis.. i loike.. =p

juz nw haf lunch wif bf again..

i juz lyk huggin him can..=p

walk2.. bought stitch @ toys r us.. hehe..

he complain i got 2 much soft toys.. but yet he paid 4 my stitch.. yeah!!

luffe eu syg..

im bored.. lyk totalli..

aargh!!

i nid 2 find a job real soon..

or else im gonna be rottin @ hum..

2007-06-07T03:53:00.000+08:00

i told myself 2 juz shut my eyes & go 2 sleep..

i close my eyes..

i hug da minnie mouse he gif 2 me..

i toss..

i turn..

FCUK!!

I CANT SLEEP!!!

its nearly 4am..

another sleepless nite 4 me..

my heart stil in pain..

HE LIED 2 ME!!

aargh!!

totally laz nyt was such a memory 2 me..

i nvr did in my WHOLE ENTIRE LYF RAN LYK 1 MAD CRAZY GIRL juz 2 catch him..

gosh~

wat da hell was i tinkin?

stupid!!

he ride a bike..

aku lari..

of course i couldnt catch him..

but i noe..

if i dun..

my heart wud ache..

IT STIL does..

in da end..

i hail a cab..

intention 2 go his place..

BODOH!!

ape aku fikirkan pun aku tk tau..

tapi aku tau i nvr feel diz wae 2wards ani1 b4..

we did settle tings..

but..

i dunoe..

CHESTPAIN HAD 2 START AGAIN!!

fcuk!!!

im not actin 2 bring him back..

AM NOT HOKAYS!!

juz dat my chest hurt alot recently..

dunoe why..

so many sickness..

haish!!

tah la..

he LIED 2 ME..

i cant believe he did dat..

i reali cant..

unless..

he's hidin sumtin frm me..

wic..

i dunoe..

aargh!!

2007-06-04T18:44:00.000+08:00

sumtimes.. i feel dat he doesnt do da tings he does nimore..

da lil ting dat he does always makes me hapi..

he dun do dat nimore..

ok..

RARELY..

I DUNNOE..

he shouted @ me laz nite coz i keep askin him whether diz wil laz..

he said IM PRESSURISING HIM.. HE SAE I DUN TRUST HIM..

Ok fine..

MY FAULT..

Tah la.. i dunoe wat 2 sae nimore..

i mean as a girl..

NO MATTER.. HOW TIRED I AM..

i repeat NO MATTER HW TIRED I AM..

I NVR FAIL..

2 gif him a cal....

or a msg..

2 tel him i reach hum..

but he...

die ckp jer..

he always sae wanna cal..

but in da end..

I HAF 2 CAL HIM 2 MAKE SURE..

ITZ ME..

ITS ALWAYS LYK DAT..

YA..

2 3 KALI OK..

but lyk everi dae...

bingit seh...

I JUZ FEEL DAT....

AARGH!!!

WATEVA!!

OUH..

HAPPY 9TH ANNIVERSARY 2MORROW..

2007-06-01T22:50:00.000+08:00

13 yrs of frenship gone.. POOF!!!

i broke down in front of da bf juz nw..

BCOZ OF HER..

sum1 whom i use 2 cal MY BEST FREN..

hah!!

I Reali cant take it nimore..

her attitude..

her lies..

i cant believe SHE LIED 2 ME..

Tym & tym again.. bf told me nt 2 masok campur her probs.. but stil i do.. coz i care 4 her.. i treat her as a fren..

i dun deny.. afta wif bf.. i change alot.. bf change me.. truthfully.. i dun wan a future lyk hers.. i dun deny i mish al da late sat nites we use 2 haf.. da crazy tings we done wif each other in da past.. i juz dunoe wat 2 sae nimore 2 her..

al i wan is 4 her 2 be hapi.. but lyk criusly wif dat jerk?? aargh!! she choose him aniwaes.. so wat the hell...

we drifted apart.. far apart..

our tinkin r so diff nw..

IM GONNA MISH HER.. BUT TINGS ARE DIFF NW..

GD BYE 2 DA 13YRS OF FRENSHIP..

NUTIN CAN BE DONE NW..

*SOBS*

2007-05-31T22:21:00.000+08:00

hmmm...

i had a superb dae wif bf yesterdae..

wud eu believe it.. he skip class.. took 198 frm bukit merah.. drop @ jw.. mit me.. den we wlk 2 lakeside 2 take train 2 marina square.. haha.. mane nk dpt kan.. slalu naik motor.. haha..
well.. too bad his bike @ werkshop.. but he oreadi took it yesterdae nite..

niwaes.. i shop2.. wif da bf.. watch shrek 3..funni la.. so cute eu noe.. he send me hum by bus.. haha..

bf was tired i guess 2 shop wif me.. im so fickle minded eu noe.. i luffe him aniwaes..

ouh well.. niwaes.. 2 dae juz nw.. went suntec wif mummy.. she so wanna go c da pc show... AARGH!! i tel eu IT WAS SUPER DUPER PACK.. kecian org kena maki ngn aku tk psl.. abih bodoh tk tau jln.. den gi pijak slipper aku.. mane tk kena mara.. mum sae i fierce.. wah liao.. den free2 meh let pple step on me..

den went 2 perlini.. whoa.. mummy went crazy & tried on diff rings coz it was on 50% discount.. she got 1 4 her self.. & i got mine 2.. hehe..

i dint shop much.. dunoe wat 2 buy..

ouh wait.. wait..

i went 2 new urban male @ ct link 2 ask mummy 4 her opinion 4 da sandals & diz cute guy serve us la.. CUTE.. hehe.. dint c his name.. ouh well..

bf if eu read diz.. dun worie.. eu stil cuter den him hokays.. =)

on da side note.. why do girls exergerate wen sittin on a bike.. lyk nk tunjuk bontot gitu.. so da ugly.. tel me im not lyk dat.. ouh well..

i mish bf..

wait..

im stil piss off wif him..

aargh!!

ckp jer la nk blaja.. tapi tk..

ni arh die.. org smangat 1 min..

2007-05-29T02:22:00.000+08:00

(i wud love 2 get dat kish frm eu again..)

if onli eu noe wat i feel 4 eu..

i nvr meant 2 speak dose words 2 eu..

i was onli sayin wat i feel..

eu took it da wrong wae..

i tk JELAK ngn eu..

nvr was & nvr wil..

eu WIL be my LAZ..

eu r my EVERITIN..

Dun eu feel wat i feel 4 eu?..

mayb we dun do da tings lyk we did in da past..

mayb both of us r bz..

datz why i sae wat i sae..

eu dunnoe how freakin much i mish eu wen ure away in KL..

al i wanna do is hug eu tite..

al i wanna do is kish eu..

eu sae i luk unhapi wen eu hug me..

i nvr feel dat wae..

i was juz tinkin of wat 2 sae datz al..

i appreciate wat eu done 4 me..

nvr did i feel sum1 luffe me so much lyk eu do..

im juz scared..

scared of losin eu..

datz all..

nutin more den dat..

i luffe eu!!

sumtimes i feel i cant measure up 2 da girl dat eu always wanted 2 be wif..

i keep comparin myself..

am i gud enuf?

am i pretti enuf 4 eu?

i feel insecure..

my self confidence has hit an al tym low...

i saw frenz breakin up wif bfs..

i saw best fren tortured by emotions wif her fiance

i heard hw she suffers as tym passes by..

i saw hw she's pinning 4 her luffe 2 cum back..

i saw how heart broken a fren is afta a breakup..

i saw how she wanted dat 2nd chance 2 be given 2 her..

i saw hw she misses him so so much..

i saw hong long dey been 2gether..

i saw hw pple change as tym passes by..

i saw how pple can haf another partner a few mths afta da breakup..

i saw hw pple move on so so fast..

i dun wan us 2 be APART!!

in da long run.. wat wil become of us?

wud eu stil luffe me lyk eu sae eu do?

IM BEIN EMOTIONAL DIZ DAE..

AARGH!!

DUN CARE WAT PPLE TINK NIMORE..

2007-05-28T01:21:00.000+08:00

im suppose 2 blog bout bf return frm KL..

im suppose 2 blog how i mish his presence.. his voice..

but sumhow i dun haf da mood..

sumhow i tinh tings aint da same animore..

im tired frm werk..

i hate shifts..

ive been werkin nearly straight 4 daes..

i keep goin hum late..

im mishin da bf alot lately..

izit me whos always paranoid?

but i do tink sumtin is up..

2007-05-24T15:27:00.000+08:00

i lost it..

ure words keep echo-in in my head..
i juz cant seem 2 4get it..
it hurts so much..
i luffe eu 2 much 2 let eu go..
ure ego came in & destroy all i had inside..

eu dun haf 2 keep repeatin how stupid i am..

2007-05-21T11:32:00.000+08:00

i lost myself totally..

i feel so stupid..

i nid another break..

i nid another holidae..

frenz come & go..
pple change..
dey nvr stay..
ouh well..
i guess i 2 change..

2007-05-21T01:57:00.000+08:00

am i 2 gud dat i juz keep on helpin pple who doesnt even deserve it?

i noe.. @ tyms i may act lyk a stupid bitch shoutin out al dose vulgar words wen im mad.. or even curse & swear da person who makes me mad.. yesh!! i may be mad @ da person.. but SUMHOW AFTA ALL DA CURSIN SWEARIN.. IM OK.. & i ended up 4giving a person easily.. den in da end da person do it 2 me again & ya i end up forgivin again..

bf cal me 2 soft hearted.. but i HATE diz weakness of mine.. sumhow pple juz take advantage of it.. i told myself 2 be strong.. but i cant.. sumhow naturally i will help wifout tinkin wat da person has done 2 me in da past.. i dunoe.. i dun bear grudges.. I DUN.. datz juz me.. but it has taken a toll on me.. im tired.. pple juz take advantage of it.. pple dun appreciate wat eu done dem.. wen tings go wrong, in da end, itz always me who gets da blame.. ya.. stupid me for helpin.. ya blame myself.. but MY INTENTION R GUD.. itz juz dat pple dun c it..

pple wil onli c wen eu done bad tings.. but wen eu do gud.. NO1... hardly ani1 wil notice it.. not dat i wan recognition or anitin.. juz tel me.. i done well.. datz all.. izit dat hard..

im tired.. i lost myself.. why cant i be strong? i juz wan pple 2 be hapi.. but in da end.. itz always me who is left alone.. its me who always end up @ fault..

I FEEL SO STUPID!!!

2007-05-16T18:24:00.000+08:00

****BINGIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!****

nid translation..

it means...

im freakin angry..

lyk wth.. its gud ENUF!!!! I DUN BLOG BOUT URE FREAKIN ATTITUDE WIF URE SO CAL SCANDALS OR WATEVA SHIT EU CAL IT..

ITZ GUD ENUF I DUN BLOG BOUT URE PAST COZ WHY.. I TREAT EU AS MY FREN..

But eu.. haf 2 do diz 2 me...

itz my prob how i dress.. a minah2 eu cal me?? lyk hey i dress wat i wanna dress so wats ure freakin prob??? ya my fashion has improve so??? ani prob wif dat????

IM GROWIN UP... SO WAT HAS IT GOT 2 DO WIF EU??? DO EU HAF 2 BLOG BOUT IT & TEL DA WHOLE WORLD????

WAT BOUT URE OWN SELF??? AARGH!!! I DUN EVEN WANNA BLOG BOUT IT COZ I DUN WANNA CARE NIMORE...

OUH SO WAT.. IF MY BF IS A MAT MOTOR??? DOES DAT BOTHER EU ALOT?? I MEAN HEY... HE TREATS ME BETTA DEN ALL DOSE STUPID ASSHOLES GUYS DAT I EVA HAF..

FRM DA START I NOE.. MY RELATIONSHIP WIF HIM NVR HAS URE BLESSINGS COZ EU HAF DOUBT BOUT HIM..

ITZ OREADI 8MTHS IM WIF HIM.. & IM PERFECTLY FINE.. HAPI.. BLISSFULLY ATTACHED!!!!!!

IM HAPI.. SHUDNT EU AS MY FREN BE HAPI BOUT IT.. WHY R EU BEIN SO SENSITIVE BOUT IT?????

reali..

i tot eu.....

aargh!!!

crap!!

one word!!!

WATEVA!!!!

aslkan aku hapi suda.. why shud i bother bout pple??

DO dey even gif a fcuk bout me??? NO!!

SO YA...

WHY SHUD I EVEN CARE???

AARGH!!!

2007-05-15T00:20:00.000+08:00

I HAD FUN!!!

totally uber fun @ genting..

i WAS TOTALLY PROUD OF MYSELF CAN.. for takin all dose wild rides.. & not vomit.. hehe..

Thks bf 4 da company..

i totally enjoy it..

i reali deserve dat break..

i wan more..

nvm..

save money 1st hehe..

ps: mish eu lyin nxt 2 me.. =p

i wan dose sweet kisses & warm hugs again can.. can.. can???

i luffe eu bf..

2007-05-08T22:11:00.000+08:00

yessa!!

3 more werkin daes.. & im off on a holidae wif da lovable 1.. i cant wait.. lyk seriously..

3 more werkin daes jer.. sabar jer..

ouh.. i hate da bitch @ werk.. im not bein rude bitch its you.. ouh well..

I FCUKIN DUN CARE..

I MORE MTH.. & IM OUT..

SO LONG SUCKER!!

2007-04-25T12:16:00.000+08:00

i lost myself..

*sigh*

i reali nid 2 get away..

i nid a break..

2007-04-22T14:24:00.000+08:00

i spent da whole dae yesterdae wif mr bf... i loike.. =)

went townin wif mr bf.. ouh b4 dat.. i went 4 my prac @ bbdc ..uurgh!! bingit sak.. dun even ask me bout wat happen.. juz dat eu nid 2 noe i haf 2 REPEAT dat prac.. & I MEAN REPEAT OK!! bingit seh.. aargh!!!

mr bf den fetch me frm bbdc.. went he saw my fcuk up face.. i tink he oreadi noe... he dint ask nimore.. coz i oreadi flare up @ him wen he ask me b4... he den sent me hum.. reach hum dad ask me.. i show him da same face.. dun ask or im gonna scream.. well i did cry ok coz i was expectin 2 pass coz da bf oreadi taught me.. but guess i was so nervous dat i stumbbled everitin.. da instructor sae i slow.. wat seh.. i can ok.. juz dat i nid 2 relax.. but da other instructor motivates me.. well.. reach hum.. change den waited 4 da rain 2 stop den headed 2 far east 2 eat.. eat @ cahaya.. i tink datz da place la.. ouh ya i ordered claypot seafood rice.. can i sae not nyce??? dint finish it.. but da fried wanton was delicious la..

afta dat decide 2 watch movie but no nyce movie.. den headed 2 cineleasure saw mini dirtbike racing.. cool la... ouh ya.. i saw sum1 frm da past.. sum1 who CHEATED ME TOTALLY.. CHEATED ME OF MY MONEY & LOVE.. HAH!! EMOTIONALLY BUT NOT PHYSICALLY.. I MAYBE GULLIBLE BUT IM SMART 2..

told mr bf bout it.. he was so angry wif me.. hey dat was in da past wat... wonder why he so mad @ me.. found out he tk fav da ex coz da ex alwaes stare @ him wen die lepak @ hazwani dulu.. went heeren.. walk our separate wae seh..

den sampai tingkat 3 we stop outside da print photo shop coz my plan was 2 take photo sticker wif him coz i tink itz fun.. I JUZ WANNA HAF FUN WIF HIM.. DATZ ALL.. but da gaduh da mls seh.. but den mr bf ask me whether wanna take anot.. OF COURSE LA EU DUMBBELL!! ive been wantin 2 take wif him seh.. haiya...

tired seh pose here pose dere.. i reali had fun.. decoratin da pixs.. i dint noe bf was dat creative.. hehe..

niwaes while on da wae back.. sumtin happen.. i juz cant stop myself frm bein mad @ him.. who da hell is dat girl sia?? ( Im tryin 2 refrain my self frm sayin dat bitch coz i've got no rite) tk kan tk de reason kawan kau gi ckp name die wen eu sae biasa la.. lyk WAT DA FCUK SIA???? he freakin noe eu haf a gf.. & datz me.. aargh!!! idiot!!!

bingit seh.. datz da 2nd time i caught eu.. 1st time eu sae ure fren msg HER.. DEN I SAW URE DIAL CALL LIST.. EU FREAKIN CALL HER & TALK 2 HER.. wen i demand xplaination eu sae she ask who r eu den eu cal her.. ok fine.. den ni... eu sae ure fren dunoe story.. HELLO HE SUPPOSE 2 BE URE CLOSE FREN.. wen i ask who is she.. EU SAE SHE'S URE FREN..

i noe itz wrong of me.. but i reali dunoe whether 2 trust eu anot.. im sorie.. but i reali luffe eU alot.. & i've fallen hard.. if reali eu haf another pls tell me.. I CANT HANDLE ANOTHER BROKEN HEART NIMORE..

sorie if diz entry turn out 2 be an emotional entry.. juz dat i cant take it lyin down lyk dat..

i cried 2 sleep..
im tired..
i dun wana
fite..
i reali luffe
eu..
alot..
eu make me so
much happier..
eu
totally change
me..
i nid eu in my
lyf..
i wanna wake up findin
myself nxt 2
eu..
i wanna
hug eu 2
sleep..
but if reali eu haf
sum1
new..
pls tell
me..
i dun tink i can handle another broken
heart..

2007-04-18T14:14:00.000+08:00

im hurt badly.. i feel so USED!!!

AARGH!!!

I Dunoe la.. SHE was suppose 2 be my BEST FREN.. or so i tink... Nw she asccusin me of breakin up her RELATIONSHIP!! & TELLING TALES 2 HER PARENTZ.. OH WAT THE FCUK!!! LYK HELLO I GOT NUTIN 2 DO IZIT.. DAMMIT.. Nw she onli appear wen she needed my help.. dearest bf told me not 2 be so soft hearted & go help her since she done diz 2 me.. i dunoe la mayb da yrs of frenship..

She sae i change.. she's not lyk me who has EVERITIN.. lyk wat?? susah aku korang tau ker? why muz i always be dere 4 pple wen i fact.. if i needed a shoulder 2 cry on.. NOBODY IS DERE!!! NOBODY.. IN DA END ALL I HAF IF MYSELF.. MY FREAKIN SELF.. & dat taught me 2 be strong.. 2 stand up 4 myself.. yesh.. im thankin 2 da dearest bf who's wif me all diz while.. but he's onli my bf.. a guy.. i nid my best fren.. a girl noes wat another girl feel.. but wen i nid eu.. where were eu? ok so fine.. wen eu got prob im dere.. 2 listen.. i try 2 help if i can.. but wen i told eu mine.. eu were so preoccupied wif urs.. HELL.. HAF EU EVA LISTEN 2 ME?? ALL I NID IS JUZ 4 EU 2 LISTEN.. DATZ ALL.. i juz nid a listenin ear frm eu..

she change she's not lyk me who has a stable job.. lyk hello bile aku ajak kau.. kau tunggu ni la... tunggu tu la.. waitin doesnt help.. c wat waitin has done 2 eu in da end.. tah la.. i reali dunoe wat 2 sae...

I TOLD MYSELF IM WASHIN MY HANDS OUT OF URE AFFAIRS NIMORE.. I NOT GONNA BOUT PPLE NIMORE..

AARGH!! FCUK!! YESH I TYPE DAT 2 MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTA DEN IN DA END.. DA NXT TING I NOE I'LL BE ENTANGLING MYSELF IN THEIR PROB AGAIN!! FCUK..

2007-04-13T16:38:00.000+08:00

im mishing dearest bf..

hmmm.. wen was my laz update? cant remember.. ouh well..

niwaes im suppose 2 go practical 2dae.. i dint go.. instead met dearest bf for lunch coz i NOE.. wif his additional job itz hard mitin him again.. dunoe wen im gonna haf a date him again..-sigh-

body ache la.. tired sia frm werkin.. can i haf a break? mls la nk gi keje.. gastric flu is back again..HELLO!! AARGH!! i feel so sick..

whoa.. nw da dearest bf daring oreadi la.. send me under my blok.. mentang2 da dpt green lite frm my dad.. hapi la die..Dat tym wen he send me.. juz as i trun motor jer.. turn 2 c da lif.. saw dad.. whoa.. tot he gonna scold coz i took a ride frm da bf.. BUT SURPRISING TING.. DAD DINT SAE NITIN.. instead he even talk 2 da bf.. hehe.. bf was scared sia.. hehe..

i mish bf can.. He's nw werkin 4 kfc delivery.. den oso his mac.. den his skul.. den when am i gonna spent tym wif him seh..

bf told me 2 understand him.. but wat seh.. his werk gonna take all of his tym den ME??????

haish..

2007-04-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

Yeah!!

i got lotsa gud news la 2 share.. hehe..

UPDATES FOR DA WK..

i enrol myself @ bbdc.. class 2B..
wohoo!!

hehe.. i tink wifout da bf help i wun be enrolin la.. coz i got no confidence la.. hehe.. yup2.. thkz syg.. i luffe eu la.. =)

ouh ya.. DAT VERI SAME DAE he FINALLI CAME DOWN & MIT UP WIF MY PARENTZ OVER DINNER..& DAT DAE WAS MY DAD'S BDAE.. i cant 4get da luk of nervousness on his face.. hehe.. i tease him bout it.. but ya.. overall my parentz approve of him.. DOUBLE YEAHNESS!!

wed. had my classes of basic theory... was late took cab.. told taxi driver go bbdc.. he dint believe im takin bike licence.. haha.. afta dat met up wif darling barbara at cineleasure.. mish her lots.. spent da whole dae townin wif her.. whoa.. we went frm topshop to mango to zara to far east 2 find sumtin 2 match her grey skinny pants.. try on lotsa nyce stuff but i dint buy nitin coz i dunoe wat 2 match wif.. i onli got myself a puma wallet & a ring.. hehe.. dunoe wat 2 buy la.. i had truckloads of fun wif her la.. took pics wif her.. we'll mit up again wen we're free ok babe.. go shoppin again.. hehe..

thurs.. Had my 1st riding theory lesson.. was late again.. reach classroom.. DAMN IM DA ONLI GIRL.. wahliao.. tot got girls seh.. lyk i felt so dumb bein dere alone again 2 daes in a row.. da bf pick me up afta dat.. go lot 1.. eat.. walk.. talk.. joke2.. den decide 2 chill @ Da park dere.. had fun wif da bf.. i tink our old fun daes are cumin back again..den bf taught me how 2 ride a bike.. he cal me a MINAH REMPIT.. IM NOT OK.. But seriously itz fun la.. ok .. im so gonna book my practical on my nxt off dae.. gonna pester da bf 2 teach me again... hehe.. but uhk.. im scared la.. nah.. i can do it.. haf confidence phydi.. =)

ala.. 2morrow werkin la.. so fast.. 2daes gone.. can i dun werk?? ya rite.. dream on..

ops.. bf juz cal me.. gonna talk 2 him..

take care..

2007-03-31T00:58:00.000+08:00

i juz feel lyk bloggin 4 once..

alrite.. tings wif da BF is gettin OK i guess.. he was bein so sweet & nyce.. dun ask me i dunoe why.. tah cam lain gitu... tak tau la asl kan.. ikut mood agaknye..

but seriously dat wed.. da dae dat i met him up WAS LYK TOTALLY WAR BTWN ME & HIM.. in my previously entry i wrote dat i was not gonna care bout him nimore.. SO YA.. i told him out of anger but he.. bein such a dumbass GO BELIEVE IT.. WTF!! cant he even differenciate my anger tone... itz not dat ez not 2 care 4 sum1 eu luffe.. but he go believe it..

B4 dat in da morning was ok.. it wasnt until @ bugis dat he ask me he wanna go MOS..all i nid is 2 spent time 2gether coz da past few daes we keep fightin & fightin.. den i tot ok la.. why not use da time 2 talk 2 him.. but he keep askin & askin whether can go anot.. wahliao.. irritating sak.. summore oso while watchin movie his frenz keep callin & callin.. stupid rite.. i noe he oreadi decide den wth did he ask me 4 sia.. he always decide 1st b4 tellin me.. bingit seh..

so i told him.. eu noe wat.. eu wanna go eu go la.. i dun wanna care nimore.. 4 wat sia i care if al we do is fite.. he sae not fair.. den i sae la i care sala tk care sala.. wat eu wan frm me nimore.. HE WAS SO PISSED OFF WIF MY WORDS!! correct wat..

niwae.. afta sendin me back hum.. he was stil pissed of wif me bcoz of wat i sae.. told him i dint mean it coz i was angry wif him.. he stil took it da wrong wae & wanna go off juz lyk dat LEAVING ME ALONE LYK DAT.. BUT ME BEIN DA STUBBORN HEADED 1.. DUN WANNA LET HIM GO.. I HELD ON HIS BIKE COZ I REALI WANNA SETTLE OUR ARGUMENTS 1 & FOR ALL..

HE WAS SO PISSED OF WIF ME DAT HE DRAG ME UNDER DA BLOK COZ WE WERE FIGHTIN IN DA MIDDLE OF DA CARPARK & WAS MAKIN A SCENE.. he dint even bother 2 hear my explaination dat i sae dae out anger..itz not fair ok.. why can eu sae tings out of anger.. why cant i?? why always eu muz be rite?? wen i keep pressin 4 explaination, he juz couldnt be bothered.. & DA NXT TING I NOE.. HE LEFT ME.. REALI LEFT ME ALONE UNDER DA BLOK.. I REALI FEEL SO LOST SIA WEN HE LEFT ME LYK DAT..

but den, hes not da bad afta all.. coz wen i juz squat down near da rd & juz feel lyk cryin.. i turn & DERE HE IS.. i feel relieved.. super relieved i tel eu.. he even told me.. I CANT BELIEVE URE REALI STUBBORN.. klau nk tu.. nk tu jugak.. hehe.. wat 2 do.. accept me 4 me aite syg??

gaduh2 syg tau.. reali itz hard 2 let go.. nobody has taught me tings he does.. i reali do nid him in my lyf.. he change me alot2..

i mish his presence nw...

ouh ya.. saw dayah juz nw.. she drop by.. mish her la.. & pls hor.. i noe la im gettin more tembam. tk ya la nk bilang smua org kan... hehe..

so lookin 4ward 2 mitin da girls on da 4th.. & on da 5th.. itz HAPPY 7 MTH ANNIVERSARY!! yeah..

2007-03-28T02:38:00.000+08:00

tings juz got worse..

i dint even get 2 talk 2 him nicely da whole dae..

i ended up cryin & hangin up da fone on him while he went 2 sleep..great.. super great i tel eu.. da feeling of angryness haven subside since morning..& it added again..

reason 4 him sleepin is he cant be bothered 2 fite wif me.. lyk wtf sia.. HE DINT EVEN BOTHER LA 2 LISTEN.. he even told me dat he can sleep bcoz al diz merepek.. eh HELLO.. KLAU KAU TK START.. DEN AKU TK TUNJUK PERANGAI ARH!!!

early morning he tried 2 pacify me by sayin he wanna watch movie Afta i finish werk.. ok la.. i lyk da so semangat oreadi sia.. coz dun wana fite wif him again den HE TOLD ME HE CANT MAKE IT COZ HE HAF 2 WERK.. LYK WTF!! den he sae he dint noe.. lyk hello.. eu tink i small kid izit believe eu.. ITZ EU WHO DAMN FCUKIN PROPOSE URE SCHEDULE & EU DINT EVEN NOE!! WTF SIA!! i noe it dun mean nitin but eu oreadi tel me seh & im lyk so excited 2 mit eu.. den laz min lyk dat.. SPOIL EVRYTING!!

I tot i can talk 2 him nicely sia coz was waitin 4 his cal.. ended up.. he msg me askin i sleep oreadi anot.. & he juz reach hum & he wanna sleep.. lyk wtf!!! bingit seh!!!

aargh!!!!! sakit hati seh gini hari2.. sumore he told me 4 wat he tel me wen he outside.. wow!!! ok cool!! so YA.. EU NOE WAT MR SAIFULHADI IM SO NOT GONNA CARE NIMORE COZ ALL I GET IN DA END IS HEARTACHE, SEPET EYES & IRRITATING MUCUS.. since caring so much causes al diz fites.. & let me tel eu.. i dint prevent him frm mitin his frenz.. juz dat al i wan is assurance dat he is safe datz all.. but he.. he dint even bother 2 even cal 2 tel me or da least is msg.. wen i ask him he sae BUAT APE..k fine.. I'LL DO IT URE WAE.. aku penat uhk hari2 gaduh ngn kau.. ENUF IS ENUF!! IM SO NOT GONNA CARE NIMORE.. SINCE DIZ IS WAT EU WAN!!!!!!

& LET ME TEL EU MR SAIFULHADI.. I DUN HAF OTHER GUYZ COZ I HAF EU OREADI.. BUT EU.. keep askin me bout other guyz..JGN SAMPAI AKU TUL2 BUAT.. IF I HAF OTHER GUYZ.. 4 WAT SIA I STIL STICK WIF EU.. & ITZ OREADI 7 MTHS IM WIF EU.. IF DIZ IS WAT EU TINK OF ME.. DEN EU TINK SO LIL OF ME AS URE GF!!! IM NOT LYK EU... EU SAE DAT WAS IN DA PAST.. EU SAE EU DINT GIF ANI GIRLS URE NUMBER.. HEY.. DAT WAS LYK 2 MTHS AGO LA.. EU TINK I DUNOE HOW 2 READ.. HAH!!! KLAU I DINT C URE FRIENDSTER UP TIL NOW I DUNOE EU LIED 2 ME!! REALI I TOT I CAN TRUST EU...

AARGH!! IM SO MAD!!!

if diz is wat luffe is.. den i guess it taught me 1 ting.. I HAF 2 BE PATIENT...

& freakin shit.. IM MISSING HIM NW.. DAMN!!

2007-03-27T02:21:00.000+08:00

I FEEL SO LOW..

I REALI WANNA CURL UP & HAF A GUD CRY.. ITZ ALWAYS END UP DIZ WAE..

I HATE FIGHTING WIF HIM..

DAMMIT..

CANT HE GET INSIDE HIS DAMN BLOODY HEAD DAT I HATE FIGHTIN WIF HIM COZ ALL I GET IS HEARTACHE.. DAMN HIM!! AARGH!!! I GOD DAMN WISH I CUD SLAP HIM & WAKE HIS BLOODY IDEA DAT I DUN WISH 2 FITE WIF HIM BCOZ OF DIZ BUT IT HAPPEN 2 MANY TIMES DAT I CANT TAKE IT ANIMORE..

YA.. I NOE CAL IT SMALL MATTER IF EU WAN..

DA CONVERSATION IS ALWAYS..

me: eu balik trus eh?
him: a ah.. diorang tk de la baby..
me: hmm.. yela tu..
him: ye.. i balik trus k.. da balik i cal eu..
me: we'll c..

i noe.. inside my heart.. itz nt true.. coz its ALWAYS.. DID I MENTION LYK EVERI DAE.. IT ended up me waitin 4 him lyk nearly 1 in da morning.. & did i MENTION.. ITZ ALWAYS ME CALLIN HIM 1ST B4 HE DAMN FCUKIN TEL ME DAT HE JUZ REACH HUM.. WAT!! CANT HE EVEN HAF INITIATIVE 2 EVEN MSG ME DAT HE MITIN HIS FRENS 4AWHILE.. ITZ NOT AS IF IM PREVENTIN HIM FRM MITIN HIM FRENZ.. ALL I WAN IS INTIATIVE FRM HIS PART.. TELLIN ME SO IM NOT WORRIED.. BUT HE... DUN HE EVEN USE HIS BLOODY GOD DAMN MIND DAT IM WORRIED 4 HIM!! AARGH!!! STUPID!!! IM FREAKIN MAD DAT I CUD SLAP HIM!!! DAMMIT..

EVEN JUZ NW.. TOT I CUD TALK 2 HIM.. BUT HE BEIN SUCH AN ASSHOLE.. HE SLEPT ON DA FONE!! & FCUKIN HELL.. DIZ IS NOT HIS 1ST TIME.. ASSHOLE!!! DAMMIT.. REASON BEING.. HE DUN WANNA FITE WIF ME BCOZ OF DIZ!! EH.. BODOH KER.. AKU DA PENAT ARH GADUH NGN KAU PSL NI.. EVERI TIME WE FITE ITZ ALWAYS ME WHO START IT 1ST.. DEN END UP.. HE SAE.. DA ARH EU.. I MLS ARH GADUH NGN EU.. HARI2 GADUH.. TDO LAGI BAGUS..EH KAU IGT AKU TK DE KEJE PER NK GADUH NGN KAU HARI2.. SAKIT HATI JER..I REALI CANT TAKE DIZ ANIMORE!! STUPID RITE.. GADUH2 PUN BOLE TDO.. DUN HE EVEN CARE BOUT MY FEELINGS????

AARGH!!!! END UP.. AKU YG BUAT SALA.. AKU YG CARIK PASAL NGN DIE.. SMUA AKU PER.. SMUA DIE BETUL.. FCUKIN EGOISTIC..

AARGH!! BINGIT SAK!!! HE DUN EVEN CARE 2 MSG ME BACK AFTA I HANG UP HIS CAL..

& DIZ STUPID PMS TINGY DOENT MAKE TINGS ANI BETTA..

& HE DUN EVEN CARE WHY IM SO ANGRY..

I HATE HIM!!!!

ON DA OTHER HAND.. I STIL LUFFE HIM!! AARGH!! STUPID ANGRY FEELINGS STIL WUN GO AWAY..

2007-03-12T20:18:00.000+08:00

whoa.. itz been 12345678 days since i blog.. hehe..

but seriously.. i mish bloggin.. i mish bloggin lyk everi dae..

dere's lots of tings i mish actuali..

i mish goin out wif gfs.. gfs where eu guyz? i mish juz hanging out..

i mish shopping.. ya i noe i've been buyin clothes but itz all frm bugis.. coz why.. coz i werk @ bugis.. i seriously nid RETAIL THERAPY.. ANI1 WANNA ACCOMPANY ME?? im super uber strez can?

i mish juz hangin out wif da bf.. juz me & him.. ALONE.. sumtimes we juz nid 2 talk.. tah la i dunoe la.. sumtimes i juz feel i lose myself.. but ya.. he's all so patient wif me.. but dere are times he flare up 2 hokays...

yesterdae da bf fetch me frm werk.. den we went east coast juz 2 chill & luk @ da stars.. talkin.. eu noe juz hangin out.. i mish juz havin him by myside.. im not denyin him of his frenz but ya.. sumtimes i feel HIS FRENZ ARE SUPER IMPT 2 HIM DEN ME... wic means.. IM NUMBER 2.. wait.. make dat 3.. above me is his bike.. aargh!!

i dunoe la.. but havin him huggin me & feelin his warmth beside me.. i juz feel... hapi.. he makes me feel reali in luffe.. mum & dad lyk cant wait 2 mit him.. i juz cant describe da feelings i have 4 him.. 6 mths & goin out strong..

take 4 example.. yesterdae afta eatin @ mac @ east coast while on da wae back.. my stomach feel quesy.. lyk mayb i haven gotten well frm my gastric.. ya.. i wanted 2 puke.. da bf stopped his bike @ da side of da expressway expressing his concern coz i ask him 2 get me da nearest toilet.. lyk we were in da middle of da expressway where 2 find toilet seh.. so ya.. went 2 esso @ j.e.. yup.. i puke all out.. i tink thkz 2 mac flurry dat i had.. haha.. i got a scoldin frm him.. a BIG 1 coz i dint bring my medicine.. but ya.. he was rubbin my back 2 make me feel betta.. i so luffe him can?? =p

had lunch wif him again jz nw.. i smile wen i saw him juz nw.. aargh!! mr boyfriend!! wat haf eu done 2 me huh?? =p cant wait 2 mit him again..

2morrow startin werk again..aargh!! cam mls nk gi keje la.. my nxt off dae is fri.. datz lyk another 4 daes.. haish.. but ya.. i tink im getting my staff pass anitime soon.. so gfs.. i noe ure waitin for my staff discount rite.. haha..

ouh freaking shit.. haven finish doin my meal break schedule.. gonna get back 2 dat..

c eu wen eu c me aite..

bf.. i MISH EU LOTSsSS!!

2007-01-19T16:28:00.000+08:00

IM BACK.. =)

notice.. i onli update on my dae off.. no time la 2 update.. bz wif werk..

niwaes.. 2dae my 2nd dae off.. am slackin @ hum coz yesterdae went out oreadi.. but mayb am gonna mit bestfren 2 chill @ coffee bean 4 awhile.. yeahness!!

yesterdae went off wif da bf & his frenz.. was pretty surprise when he called askin wanna mit him anot coz da dae b4 he sae he was werkin.. but naturally i said yes coz itz my dae off & i onli get 2 mit him on my dae off onli..

so.. i get ready.. den he called me sayin telok blangah was rainin heavily he cant fetch me & since jurong dint rain dat much he ask me 2 mit him @ tiong baru.. reach dere msg him.. he fetch me den go pasar 2 mit his frenz..

saw nuyun & fir... long time dint saw dem... saw sham wif lynn... whoa.. da 2 couples janji wif each other la wat 2 wear coz nuyun & fir was wearing black while sham & lynn was wearing white.. am jealous can? coz bf hardly ask me 2 wear same colour wif him.. but yesterdae he was wearin da shirt i gave him.. *smiles*

chatted 4 awhile wif his others frenz 2 den headed 2 vivo wif da 2 couples.. went 2 topshop.. walk2 around.. den play @ da archade dere..

headed 2 bugis next coz dey wanna eat.. I WAS LYK HUH BUGIS AGAIN.. actuali dey decided on KTM.. but den deArest bf so wanna go bugis.. i was lyk ok den.. ordered seafood soup wif rice.. dint finish da rice.. dunoe why cannot finish coz it was my first meal 4 da dae.. yup2.. & i ate @ 9 plus @ nite.. i dint feel hungry seh..

den headed 2 jurong park wif da two couples again 2 chill out.. mayb da girls all live @ jurong so easier 4 da guyz 2 send.. =)

had misunderstandin wif da bf.. am not gonna explain why.. but ya.. was pissed off dat i listen 2 my mp3 all da wae.. blasted wif loud volume and listenin 2 MY KINDA SONGS.. guess he was also pissed off wif me.. but i fcukin dun care.. well.. we did make peace wif each other endin da nite wif gudbye kiss.. =)

ps: am grateful wif da dearest bf 4 askin me 2 save 200 bucks inside his acc coz now im fcukin broke & am usin my 200 dat is inside his acc.. cant wait 4 pay dae wic is lyk in another 10 11 daes?? *aargh*

ouh ya.. did i mention..i hate goin werk early in da morning?.. damn..

2007-01-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

*cough cough*

i tink im losin it.. im losin my voice.. coz nw wen i talk.. suddenly my voice 'disappear' halfwae... lyk wat seh.. darling bf keep askin me 2 take my cough medicine.. but ME.. bein ME.. hate it.. & ya... i dint take it.. lazy oso la.. hehe..

alrite.. so 2dae my off dae.. slack @ hum.. mit izwa up 4awhile.. den went hum watch tv all da wae.. bez seh duduk rumah.... hehe...

yesterdae went out wif darling bf... I END UP BEIN LATE.. he end up waited 4 20mins.. so much 4 5mins.. hehe... afta dat.. headed 2 bugis kedai motor 2 get his signal lite... whoa.. lotsa mat motor la.. or shud i sae mat2 rempits?? hehe... niwaes dear got his signal lite & his stickers.. den went 2 toa payoh 2 eat.. den walk 2 dere.. lotsa hp shops.. & DAMN I WAS TEMPTED CAN??? I NID 2 GET A NEW FONE LA.. but dear keep tellin me 2 get it durin my nxt pay.. haiz..

den headed 2 telok blangah.. dear pasang his signal lites.. his KR luk so bogel la wifout da ferring.. hehe... slack 4 awhile.. den went 2 jurong park wif sham & lyn.. coz sham sendin lyn oso coz she live @ jurong 2...

had a great time wif da bf.. he juz makes me smile... 4mths & is stil goin strong.. =)

2morrow startin werk again.. full shift.. got 2 be dere @ 9am.. stupid store mitin.. haiz.. sat goin out again.. yeah.. coz itz my wk end off!! wohoo!!

hmmm.. mayb mitin nuyun & fir.. da lame tk npk diorang... nuyun cal me juz nw.. had a short conversation wif her... hmmm..... c how la.. mayb mitin dem i guess...

alrite.. super sleepy la.. waitin 4 da bf 2 cal b4 i can get a peaceful sleep..

2007-01-03T13:24:00.000+08:00

Bye 2006.. hello 2007..

wow.. 2006 has been a ride 4 me.. da breakups.. da downfall... da sadness.. lotsa tings.. but lookin back on tings im glad i make it thru..

lotsa tings happen 2 me.. i gif up on tings.. but im glad my frenz & family members dint gif up on me...

but 1 ting im glad.. i found my baby.. my darling bf.. haha.. nearly 4 mths wif him.. & im proud 2 sae datz da longest 4 me.. & im not giving up.. frenz ask me who's my bf but it stil him.. yeah!! but sumtimes rite.. so pissed off wif him.. bingit seh.. ouh well.. da ups & down of relationship..

niwaes.. im glad me & cuzie r on talkin terms & closer back again.. yeah.. i luffe her lots la.. & onli god noes how i feel da past few mths.. we went 2 watch fireworks.. damn nice la..

ouh well... lotsa tings 2 sae since i haf not been bloggin da past 1 mth plus.. im tired uhk wif werk.. bcoz of werk 2 i haf not been mitin up wif darlin bf & not 2 mention frenz.. *sigh*
but wat 2 do..

niwaes.. happy new yr 2 dose who noe me.. 2 dose who i close 2 me..remember.. i luffe eu guyz lots.. juz dat im bz wif werk.. i will try 2 mit wen im free..

for nw..

take care..

2006-12-08T14:10:00.000+08:00

im back!!

whoa.. been a wk since i blog.. hehe.. cam rindu gitu... so ya here i am.. =)

hmm.. i tink im getin use 2 werk oreadi.. doin full shift mayb tired wat add on 2 dose "stupid irritating customers" bingit seh.. but den ok la.. my werk frenz juz makes my dae.. =)

dere's BEN who's mr nice guy.. he's lyk i dunoe.. lyk super nice la.. he's cute too.. even he's bz rite.. he wil try 2 help wen i nid help in findin stocks.. but seriously yesterdae was da 1st time i heard him sae sumtin vulgar 2 wilson.. hehe... he muz be reali piss off wif wilson.. =)

den dere's WILSON.. aargh!! diz irritating bugger.. hehe.. well he's not bad la.. juz dat eu noe IRRITATING.. usuali wud find him wen i nid help in findin stocks coz he's da 1 dat pack da stocks in da stockroom.. & ya yesterdae wen he was doin closing.. imagine HE WAS SINGIN AN OPERA SONG!! everi1 laugh @ him.. pity elizabeth who was standin beside him.. hehe...

dere's elizabeth.. i cal her eli.. everi cal her beth.. hehe.. well she's nice.. she taught me stuffs lyk transfering stocks.. how 2 handle customers & stuffs... she nice la.. she's pretti 2.. he malay whoa.. fluent seh..

hmmm.. summore dere's sufiana i cal her budak kecik.. hehe.. she's onli 16.. & she small size 2.. lyk jokin around wif her.. she's cute la... den dere's oso juni & dayah.. both of dem.. gosh.... gile jugak cam aku.. hehe... fun la werkin wif dem...

dere's jasmine 2.. diz girl damn crazy la.. she lyk makin stupid faces.. but she's fun 2 werk wif.. joke joke around wif her..

4 tina & nurul.. well dun reali talk 2 dem.. but ya.. dey are nice 2.. dey guide me as in how 2 do.. wat 2 do.. & wat not 2 do..

lastly... dere's angie.. my manager.. well how shud i describe her... i tink she's fiece.. haha.. but she nice 2 la.. i lyk her hair la.. haha.. i noe lame.. ouh well...

enjoy my time werkin wif dem.. kinda make da time faster.. ouh ya.. im addicted 2 stuffs @ esprit.. hehe...

ouh ya.. da bf was super swit la.. yesterdae drop by 2 haf dinner wif me.. lyk i dunoe.. super swit i guess.. ate wif me til 730 den he wen hum...

ops.. he juz cal.. ask me go get ready.. gtg now..

take care peeps..

2006-11-30T14:29:00.000+08:00

finali~

lyk finali la..

itz my freakin dae off...

ouh.. i got my uniform- da shirts & da jeans.. loike da jeans.. but den i nid 2 tappered it a bit.. so da baggy da bottom.. cool.. get esprit jeans 4 free juz by werkin dere.. hehe.. da bf ask me 2 get it tappered.. da idea was well... ok.. but dun wan end up lukin lyk so da minah lyk dat la..

werk.. well.. im gettin use 2 it..

ouh wait..

yati jz msg me.. "money is in babe"..

wohoo!! i got my pay oreadi.. yeah!!

i kinda mish lotsa pple la.. i mish dearie cuzie azura, darling best frenz both liza & izwa.. i mish nishal & dayah too la..

girls.. i mish eu guyz lots la..

wen are we goin out??

am gonna get ready now.. gonna cal da bf 2 accompany me go shoppin later. hehe.. yeah!!

2006-11-26T00:39:00.000+08:00

im back~

ok2 i noe itz lame.. but lyk long time dint blog la.. hehe..

alrite.. my wkend.. hah.. burnt from werkin.. well ok.. not dat bad la.. im SO SO SO SO lukin 4ward 2 mon.. MY FREAKIN OFF DAE!!! wohoo!!

werkin.. ok la.. tiring.. werkin @ bugis.. well... ok la.. b4 werkin @ bugis.. I LURVE EATING @ TONG SENG.. wanton noodle.. now.. lunch time.. i dun even noe wat 2 eat.. hehe...

customers dere.. *aargh* dunoe wat 2 sae.. customers are SO SO FREAKING FICKLE MINDED.. cam nk ketuk jer kepala diorang.. da menyusahkan aku carik stock.. pAs tu tk nk.. mcm ape kan.. BODOH!!

Well.. tinkin bout wat happen in da morning juz makes my bad dae go away.. dearest bf decide 2 send me 2 werk even though he juz finish werk @ 8.. He cal me den tel me ask me go down @ 830.. Den he sae reach oreadi msg me.. i was lyk huh?? ure kidding rite.. he sae no.. true enuf he came down.. lyk super sweet la.. i tot he was kiddin seh.. i mean he muz be sleepy rite..

sweet sweet sweet.. *smiling*

aargh!! later werkin full shift..

& ya.. me.. wearing make up?? hah!!

tk dpt la.. *blueh*

2006-11-22T08:05:00.000+08:00

im so gonna rush thru diz.. i nid 2 get ready 4 werk but i nid 2 blog.. =)

yup2.. finali i werkin @ esprit.. pronouce as es-pree.. ahakz.. well.. lotsa privilages werkin dere.. lucky huh? once a conferm staff.. i get 2 shop dere & get 50% off.. how cool is dat.. im so lukin 4ward 2 it la...

yesterdae was da orientation.. well.. i got lost initially while tryin 2 find a place.. but i manage 2 find da place.. haha... & ya.. i'll be werkin @ parco but 4 da time bein @ marina square.. so ya.. ani1 who pass by marina square drop by 2 c me aite? =)

i haf 2 sae diz can.. mish my darling BF la.. mish him lots.. cant mit him regularly lyk i use 2 coz i start werkin oreadi..

ouh well..

2006-11-20T14:18:00.000+08:00

hmm.. juz put down da fone wif da dearest bf.. haha.. he sounded sleepy.. he finish werk @ 8 den called me @ 9 plus in da morning.. den he got skul @ 10.. den juz now he met me @ 12 plus 2 pass my mp3.. went jp 4 lunch.. super pack sia..

niwaes.. wkend was fun.. spent my sat wif da cuzins.. uber fun la.. went vivo city wif dem.. cam whored.. haha.. den went bukit permai coz cuzie azura wanna mit her bf.. so ya.. we tagged along.. ahem2.. hehe..

saw swing.. i played on da swing.. super2 duper fun la.. hehe.. ya i noe.. deprived childhood.. *blueh*

yesterdae met up wif da bf.. & HE MAKE ME WAIT.. i was pissed off la.. i reach tiong baru called him.. & ya.. eu guess it.. HE WAS STIL SLEEPIN.. & HE GOT A CHEEK 2 TEL ME.. die nga siap2.. geram nye aku..

i wanted so much 2 scold him.. but ya.. i dint.. tk sampai hati la.. haha..

so ya.. i ended up dragging him 2 bukit permai coz i wanted 2 play da swing again.. but.. got lotsa kidz.. so ya.. headed back 2 telok blangah 2 eat.. met up wif sham.. chatted a bit.. den went town 2 mit his fren den 2 bugis..

on da wae hum.. got caught in da rain.. super drenched la i tel eu.. haha.. but not as bad as him.. hehe...

well.. i had fun la wif him..

2morrow start werk oreadi.. cant wait..

his bike.. his wife.. his number 1..

fadzuly.. me.. & boy..

pimp in da making?? haha..

hearts dem..

i mish her..

2006-11-17T16:30:00.000+08:00

alrite..

hmmm... fri is here.. wk end comin..fast sia..

niwaes.. i got da job dat i applied 4 @ esprit yesterdae..will start on nxt tues.. i shud be hapi coz.. pay is higher but den longer werkin hrs.. full shift starts from 10 in da mornin 2 10 @ nite.. whoa.. reminds me of da times dat i werk @ toys r us.. exactly da same.. itz gonna be tiring..

da bf decide 2 be all so swit and accompany me 4 da interview.. da interview was @ wisma atria esprit.. well.. i tot it was lyk eu fill in da form den dey cal eu kinda ting.. but i dint noe deres 2 interviewers... & for da interview i haf 2 choose a merchandise in da store, tell her bout da materials & promote it 2 her.. i was lyk wth.. omg!! i dunoe wat 2 sae seh..

well.. urs truly choose a casual checkered shirt dat cost 69.90.. haha.. it was nice if i do sae so myself.. i mean datz da shirt i wud wear.. my kinda shirt la.. hehe..

well.. i tink i was too nervous.. i stammered.. dunoe wat crap i said.. haha.. da interviewer gave me another chance.. diz time i prepared myself fully.. & diz time i went 2 another interviewer.. she's kinda nice compared 2 da 1st.. hehe.. well.. i managed.. & ya.. I GOT DA JOB.. WOHOO!!

tings might chance afta diz.. i dunoe.. juz feel dat wae.. given my werkin timin & his.. oh well.. c how it goes..

mish him lots..

2006-11-16T11:22:00.000+08:00

yeah!! i finali watch step up.. wohoo!!

went to watch wif da bf, izwa & sham.. went 2 watch @ cathay.. da moves..nice.. ok well..most of da time i was practically droolin ovr da lead actor.. he's so damn cute la.. & both izwa & da bf agrees dat he look like john cena da wrestler.. hehe... da bf & sham was practically movin 2 da songs in da movie.. & ya.. da bf even told me dat he's tempted 2 hit da club.. NOT 2 MENTION.. YESTERDAE WAS LADIES NITE.. haha.. but he dint.. =)

niwaes.. went east coast afta dat.. chill 4 awhile den headed hum.. reach hum close 2 1 in da morning.. dad nag again @ me..

gosh.. sumtimes i juz wish dey wud like get off my back.. i noe wat im doin.. let me experience tings 4 myself.. i dun nid eu 2 tel me wat i nid 2 do.. wat i cant do.. & wat i muz do..

i had enuf la.. nvm 4 get it la.. diz tings will nvr end..

lookin 4ward 2 mitin da bf later.. wohoo.. =)

2006-11-13T12:47:00.000+08:00

im back 2 blog.. yeahness.. =)

wkend was FANTABULOUS.. i cant help smiling.. hehe..

sat was spent wif da BF.. wait.. let me c.. i spent LYK 2 hrs plus waitin 4 him.. *aargh* he ask me 2 cal him @ 1 coz he wanna sleep 4 a while coz he juz got back from werk @ 10 in da morning.. so ya.. i CAL his hum @ 130.. HIS MUM pick up my cal.. so i told da mum dat he ask me 2 wake him up.. chat a bit wif da mum.. da mum ask me whether was i da 1 who came dat time during jln raye.. i said ya.. she was friendly 2wards me.. *phew* hehe..

so ya.. called da darling bf twice.. da mum even try waking him up.. but HE... tdo mati agaknye.. tk bgn2.. *AARGH* bingit.. ok.. i try calmin myself dat he juz got back from werk.. & i spent my time @ da j.e lib waitin coz i cant go hum coz sure my dad gonna ask me why.. so ya.. & DA DARLING BF FINALLI CALLED @ 4 PLUS.. he finalli wake up.. cam nk mara jer but den i noe he's tired.. so cant bring myself 2.. hehe..

mit him up @ tiong baru plaza.. he fetch me dere.. den decide go the cathay watch movie.. dun even tink of watchin da grudge 2.. itz not nice... suspense yes..(i scream lotsa times.. da bf even haf 2 close my mouth.. hehe) but da show.. super stupid la.. haiya.. i noe watch step up seh..

sun was spent goin 2 cik salinah house.. haha.. fun.. lotsa nice food 2 eat... yummylicious la.. ended up playin wif da kidz.. nana & farah.. hehe.. not 2 mention dey "played" my hair.. pretended 2 cut my hair.. dey took photos using my fone.. pandai pulak.. hehe...

ouh well da fotos wil explain everyting..

nana & farah.. cute i muz say.. hehe..

i loike diz pic..

crazy wif da kidz..

nana took diz.. i swear.. haha..

boy & nana..

mardiana her name..

siblings in cream..

2006-11-10T13:21:00.000+08:00

i deleted my previous post coz it sounds insignificant 2 da one im postin write now.. dun mind me.. but i feel lyk typin wat i feel afta i talk 2 izwa..

izwa my best gerlfren who's been dere wif me.. she seen my up & downs.. she seen my failed relationship.. she seen my best & my worst daes.. she's been da 1 dat i turn 2 wen i nid a shoulder 2 cry on..

juz lyk she seen my best & my worst daes.. i seen hers 2.. i seen wat happen 2 her afta dat JERK awol.. dat JERK is in big capital letters coz i cant stand it animore.. i seen how she always gif in.. i seen how she try 2 make it rite again & all she get was BULLSHIT back in her face again.. damn la dat JERK.. yeah.. i noe eu guyz gonna sae mind my own fcuking bisness.. but Fcuk.. geram sak aku tgk.. tk de cara seh..

4 a relationship 2 werk.. eu nid trust, communication & MOST IMPTLY.. RESPECT.. eu nid 2 respect others 1st b4 others respect eu.. respect nid 2 be earned.. i dun tink dat JERK eva respect her.. even though how bad he treated her.. she stil tink of him.. if me.. i dunoe wat i do.. yeah.. i noe.. ckp senang.. nk buat susah.. i told da BF Bout wat happen.. coz he noes her 2 coz we sumtimes go out 2gether.. niwaes.. ya.. he told me not 2 masuk campur hal rumahtangga org.. dun be 2 kpo.. i noe.. but sumhow i cant help but feel sorie 4 her.. geram jugak tau tgk dat JERK msgs 2 her.. ikutkan hati.. nk suruh aje die putus tunang.. klau da tunang cam siak.. da kawin.. lagi.. eee!! geram seh.. but i noe my position juz dat i get 2 over emotional wen i c wat happen..

i noe she's a strong gerl..
she's gonna get thru all diz shit..
gerl.. i lurve eu.. no matter wat happen.. i'll be beside eu supporting eu all da way...

2006-11-07T16:48:00.000+08:00

*aargh*

dad caught me takin his bike..

i dint noe he was waitin 4 me downstairs..

i noe he dun loike me takin guyz bikes..

he tinks it dangerous..

alrite.. i noe itz dangerous.. but i went against him.. itz my fault.. i noe.. i noe..

itz not onli bout dat..

dad has been too over protective of me.. I CANT DO DIZ.. I CANT DO DAT.. itz fcukin too much.. i cant take it no more..

cant eu guyz PLS 4 GUDNESS sake.. let me off.. i noe watz rite.. i noe watz wrong... im growin up.. Im oreadi 20.. in ure eyes im stil a lil girl.. *aargh*

& now dad wanna mit him.. i dun wanna scare him off...

2006-11-06T12:55:00.000+08:00

alrite.. im updating while da parentz not @ hum coz dey dunoe im usin da laptop.. hehe..
2 start wif.. wk end was spent jln raye wif da bf & his frenz...

sat was spent jln raye wif his design frenz.. lets juz sae.. dat was my 1st raye goin out wif dem was.. umm.. MEMORABLE.. well.. im not gonna xplain on wat happen but 4 sure im gonna remember da event coz it was da 1st time i experience it.. everything happen juz so fast.. oh well.. i dint reali took pics dat dae.. even though both of us were wearing matchin black baju kurong.. my mood was.. well.. goin up & down.. but i guess da dae was ok la..

sun was spent jln raye wif his sec skul frenz.. i met & talk wif sum of his sec skul frenz b4 so.. it was ok la.. woke up in da morning coz mum ask me 2 follow go bibik house b4 i cud go out.. well.. ok.. so ya.. woke up @ 10am.. get ready.. bla bla bla.. den i went out of bibik house coz da BF fetch me 2 go HIS HOUSE coz his frenz were all @ his house.. yup2..

im was hmmm.. ok.. SO IM GONNA MIT HIS PARENTZ 4 DA 1ST TIME.. dat was nerve wreakin.. lyk seriously.. it was my 1st time.. but ok la.. saw nuyul wen i reach dere.. she's da onli gerl fren dat i noe & can get along wif.. da rest was well.. erm ok la.. mayb i dint reali noe dem.. went 2 quite a lot of house.. reach hum @ 12.. tired sia..

well.. 2 mths passes by so quickly.. funni how his frenz ask me how i can tahan his gile2 perangai.. hehe.. i dunoe.. he's fun 2 be wif la.. bein wif him time passes by so quickly.. & im lurvin him more each dae..

da pics.. i dint reali took much.. diz was on da sun event..

da guyz bikes..

da guyz wif their bikes..

hah!! me & him.. mismatch couple.. =)

2006-11-02T16:02:00.000+08:00

im lurving my lyf so much can.. =)
i guess im not so much of a word person..
i rather write my thoughts.. oh well..
dat was a random thought i guess..

well.. 2 start wif..
arguements exchange btwn da both us...
harsh words were spoken out of anger..
but surprsingly.. im hanging on.. =) & im lurving him more..
couples do haf their bad daes..
tell me wic couple do not argue wif each other den i wud go 2 dem & salute dem.. yup2..

da past wk.. me & da BF haf been having arguements.. i haf 2 agree.. im da stubborn one while he's da patient one.. im da hot headed one while he's da one cooling me down..

Surprisingly..
"mayb im not da right girl 4 eu.."
comes out of my mouth.. wat was i tinkin rite? i was mad @ myself.. & erm.. ya mad @ him too..

but..
IM NOT LETTING GO.. DAT WAS WORDS OR ANGER.. I DINT REALI MEAN IT.. Surprise2.. diz is cumin from me.. i notice da diff since im wif him..

He juz makes me smile.. makes me laugh..

"i hope his presence in my life happens 4 a reason & not juz a passing time"

"i found sum1 who appreciate me for everything dat i am.. "

counting down..
3 more daes..
i cant wait..

2006-10-27T11:49:00.000+08:00

"SELAMAT HARI RAYA"
kalau ade silap & salah, terkasar bahasa harap dimaafkan..

niwaes.. im lazy 2 update.. not much haf been happening.. & since mum kept my laptop away da reason being MY BRO'S O LEVEL CUMIN.. so ya.. datz why i haf not been updating daily..

1st & formost,
to liza: happy 20th bdae..
to cuzie azura: happy 21st bdae.. btw their bdae was on 26th oct but since i was not online so ya.. i wrote 2 dae..

niwaes .. wish da both of eu all da bez in lyf & sucess in wateva eu do...

alrite,
updates on wat haf been happening..

eve of hari raya: went out 2 geylang wif da bf, izwa & sham.. do henna on our hands.. geylang was freaking pack wif pple sia.. walk2 bit den headed of 2 adams rd 2 eat.. den headed hum.. reach hum @ 12 plus close 2 1 in da morning.. DA PARENTZ DINT SCOLD ME.. haha.. i noe.. dey c i change a bit.. =)

hari raya: well.. hari raya turns out fine i guess..wake up @ 10 plus den headed of 2 nenek minah's house.. dint saw da rest of da cuzins, aunties & uncles.. onli saw wak esah & her family goin out of nenek's house wen we reach.. watch tv.. eat.. den headed of 2 ang mo kio.. ON DA WAE IN DA CAB.. IT WAS RAINING DAMN HEAVY.. UURGH!! DUNOE WHY EVERY YR IF GOIN 2 ANG MO KIO.. WE'RE ALWAYS CAUGHT IN DA RAIN.. Niwaes.. manage 2 go 2 another 4 houses b4 headed hum.. & @ nite.. MY HOUSE WAS INVADED.. FROM DA HALL 2 DA ACCESS BALCONY WHICH IS OUTSIDE WAS ALL FILLED UP... SO YEAH.. IMAGINE HOW MANY PPLE CAME.. Well.. collection was not much coz im all grown up & werkin or so dey tink.. i oreadi expected it.. haha..

wednesday: went vivo city wif da bf... b4 dat da bf wanna eat @ da cofeeshop ops habourfront.. while siting dere.. i saw shawal & didi.. was surprise 2 c dem dere.. den headed of 2 vivo city.. FREAKIN COLD SEH DERE.. Niwaes. bought nougats @ candy empire.. yeah.. hehe.. den walk2.. den eat again @ banquet.. hmmm.. ok la da place.. not bad.. den went mt faber.. sit & chill.. den... *sigh* dunoe la..

im sorie if i over reacted.. im sorie if im too much.. but seriously.. i dunoe how 2 react wen i saw dose pics.. eu sae dat was in da past but why it stil dere i dunoe.. i dunoe why i reacted dat wae.. eu mean a lot 2 me.. nvr haf i been lyk diz b4.. in da past relationships.. i couldnt care less *sigh* i dunoe wats happenin 2 me.. i noe im da stubborn 1.. eu were ever so patient wif me even if i clam up & dun wanna talk.. im sorie 4 da words dat i said.. dey were words of anger.. i noe we're ok oreadi.. hope it stays..

2006-10-19T17:34:00.000+08:00

alrite..

I CHANGE MY BLOGSKIN AGAIN.. haha.. been wantin 2 change da skin & change da song but was lazy 2 do so.. so.. yup2..

im blogging out of boredom.. im hungry.. nvm.. another 1 hr plus den break fast oreadi..

ouh ya.. juz hang up wif da BF.. sumtimes im so so so irritated wif him.. bingit seh.. i dunoe la.. mayb PMS.. muahaha..

yesterdae met up wif izwa.. gi kat mkn shiok.. saw him again..he's werkin dere.. i wish i cud sae HI.. i wish i cud ask.. how's lyf been? how r eu?? but.. i ended up.. keeping quiet.. i dint even smile.. trust me.. i wish i cud.. i wish we're stil frenz.. he's a sweetheart wen we're 2gether in da past.. i noe i hurt him.. im sorie 4 dat.. he sae we end da relationship mutually.. lyk wth sia.. eu dint even luk my wae da few times i l luk @ eu.. i wish we're stil frenz..but itz nvr ez mending da crack..

im reflecting on wat i done 4 da past few mths.. yes.. i enjoyed myself.. i made new frenz.. i reach hum lyk 2 3 plus in da morning.. sum daes.. i dint go hum.. reachin hum onli @ 7 plus in da morning.. but dose were da daes.. im tryin 2 change.. im tryin 2 gain back my parentz trust in me.. coz.. trust me.. once itz lost.. itz hard 2 get back..

i noe i hurt lotsa pple who i lurve.. trust me.. it wasnt meant 2 be dat wae.. i lurve eu guyz alot.. im nvr gud wif words.. but im stil here 4 a listenin ear..

yes.. da BF has been wif me 4 da past 1 mth plus... i noe pple keep saying.. if i break up wif a guy.. itz ez 4 me 2 get another 1.. i heard alot of dat.. but do eu tink itz reali ez.. eu guyz look onli on da suface.. but deep inside me.. no 1 noes.. every1 listens.. but dey dun care.. every1 pretends & dey judge pple..

da BF change me alot.. i dunoe.. since wif him.. i've been enduring stuffs dat has been thrown @ me.. bout me & him.. i dint even care bout other guyz who wanna get 2 noe me.. eu guyz r wasting my time.. @ times i may even comment bout guyz who r cute.. but dey r juz comments.. im no longer da phydi eu guyz noe.. ya.. im childish but now im more serious in relationship.. i dun wanna another ex marks da spot..

2006-10-17T09:31:00.001+08:00

whoa.. itz been lyk a while since i update..

4 a start.. i oreadi start werkin @ kidz quest.. hmmm.. not bad la da place.. slack though..

not much has been happening though.. im a gud gerl oreadi.. since i start werkin i rarely go out seh.. haha..

my wkend was tiring sia.. datz explain da 2 daes mc i took.. 4 yesterdae & 2dae..

fri:
cal in sick but since i cal laz min.. dere's no replacement so.. i had 2 go.. no choice.. so.. afta werk.. da BF wif his fren fetch me.. haha.. cam funni gitu.. klua gate jer.. 2 guyz on their bike was waitin 4 me.. hehe.. so ya.. met another fren of da BF.. ok la.. nyce guy.. so ya.. afta dat.. went j.e tpt keje izwa 2 mit her.. den decide 2 go ct hall.. but da BF & i ended up @ bugis.. haha.. izwa called me coz she & sham reach ct hall oreadi.. so ya met dem up @ da carpark near penin.. went penin.. izwa bought da heart studs.. den went raffles city 2 get takoyaki & mrs field cookies.. yeah!!! yummylicious.. been wantin 2 eat dat.. haha... so ya.. but da sad ting is we buka @ da tangga @ da carpark dere.. so ya.. sit dere talk2.. listen 2 songs..

den da guyz decide 2 eat @ bugis.. went dere.. met up wif fauzie.. den da guyz ate.. me & izwa dint eat coz we were full from eating cookies & takoyaki.. BF Scold me 4 eating junk food.. hehe.. afta dat headed 2 geylang bazaar.. DAMN FREAKIN PACK WIF PPLE..saw lots of pple.. saw zul.. saw iskandar.. lyk.. hmmm.. dey were behind of each other.. haha.. saw few nyce baju kurong.. walk2 den headed hum.. b4 dat da 4 of us went 2 da mac @ jurong spring.. fauzie dint follow coz he went off sumwhere..

afta chillin @ mac.. wanna go hum oreadi.. i WAS FREAKING MAD AT DA BF.. it was sumtin he said uhk.. bingit seh.. den i juz WALKED OFF!! i push izwa away wen she tried talkin 2 me.. da BF SAID SORIE.. but i was freakin mad.. bile naik motor pun.. i dint even talk 2 him.. IT WAS ONLI TILL DA BF speed off while cornering dat i HUG HIM TITE.. whoa.. aku tk nk mati siang seh.. den he said.. sorie wif dat sincere tone.. dat i soften abit.. hehe..

sat:
went jb.. trust me.. i was freaking sleepy.. i slept in da car.. i dint saw nyce baju kurong.. all i did was EAT.. yup2.. da food dere nyce2 la.. cant remember wher did we go.. but i remember da laz was angsana.. STUPID PLACE.. FREAKING PACK.. PACK WIF SPOREAN CARS.. den went singgahselalu 2 EAT AGAIN.. c.. if go dere.. sure eat alot one.. reach hum.. bout 2 plus.. dint talk 2 da BF.. MISH HIM.. HAHA..

sun:
WENT JB AGAIN.. EU READ IT RITE.. diz time onli wif mum & bro.. took bus.. pack.. tell me bout it.. i was irritated.. bro bought his converse shoes.. nyce sia.. jealous seh.. me & mum finalli bought baju kurong 4 da both of us.. bought food headed hum.. bla bla bla.. dere's diz one pt.. i was totally piss off wif diz stupid cisco guy.. kat checkpt.. i tink da place was pack.. so.. diz guy said dose 15 yrs & above use diz machine la.. where eu juz insert ure passport den wait 4 da door 2 open den place ure thumb on da screen wher dey identify ure thumbprint den eu free 2 go.. but i was oreadi stuck @ da passport place.. took freakin long 2 identify my passport.. den wen finali i got out da door 2 identify my thumbprint dunoe wat error la.. stupid sia.. den da cisco guy KEEP sae.. juz put ure thumb on da screen til da door open.. LYK HELLO.. CANT EU SEE WHERE MY THUMB IS.. STUPID SIA.. wen finali i got out.. dey check my passport.. lyk wat seh.. uurgh!! da la i was irritated wif pple who KEEP STEPIN ON MY SLIPPERS.. THKZ EH!!

Dat explain da mc i took 4 yesterdae & 2dae.. IM TIRED.. NOT 2 MENTION DA FREAKING MIGRANE I HAD DA PAST FEW DAES..

2morrow back 2 werk.. *sigh*

im not even in my hari raya mood..

2006-10-08T02:20:00.000+08:00

"Happy 16th Bday small bro"

haha.... dude.. ure oreadi 16.. da besar seh.. can watch nc16 oreadi la.. haha.. now oso dat sumbody got gf oreadi.. eh.. eu betta serious uhk.. dun flirt wif other girls... da gerl is quite a switheart.. eu dun anihow kaes.. :)

yeah!! i got da job dat i applied yesterdae.. i was shocked though coz dey pick me coz got 2 other girls apply oso.. Hmm.. yup2.. start diz mon.. finali.. got a proper job.. yup2.. gonna do my bez..

alrite.. went werk juz now wif da darling bro..dier teman kan.. nasib baik ade die.. got sum1 2 talk 2... den afta buka my parentz ajak gi geylang.. fuh!! PACK 2 DA MAX SIA.. damn i hate squeezing wif da crowd.. FREAKING HOT!!! uurgh!! testing my patience sia.. cam nk maki ajer.. niwaes.. i saw diz baju kebaya.. itz white.. LAWA GILER SEH!! it was lurve @ 1st sight.. hehe.. but itz 160 bucks.. siak uhk.. lawa seh.. but so ex sia.. nvm.. mum gonna bring me go jb nxt wk.. can luk around sum more..

niwaes.. mum stil wanna go joo chiat 2 luk around.. spare me can?? i cant take it no more.. patience running out.. told her i wanna go hum.. bought food 4 sahur.. left @ 11 plus.. dragging my feet sia.. sum more wearing da dearest bro shoes.. fuh!! nvm uhk.. body aching badly oreadi.. I NID A MASSAGE BADLY..

reach hum i watch madu tiga.. funni2.. i laugh loudly til i kena scold by da dad.. hehe...

funni recently.. im much more closer wif da dearest bro.. haha.. notice a big change in him.. da pandai gantung kat telefon la.. hehe.. & trust me.. he hogs da fone lyk hell sia.. wic means he can talk & talk 4 lyk 4 hrs?? haha..

he's in his honeymoon period wif da gf.. trust me.. once dey noe each other well enuf & once da relationship is longer.. tings start 2 change.. no more 4 hrs.. 1 hr is long enuf.. hehe.. sms oso not much..whoa.. he seems so bz da whole dae.. *jealous sia me* my dearest one onli cal me juz now wen he wanna go out.. & HE STIL SLEEPS ON DA FONE.. *sigh* nvm.. i stil lurve him.. =p

i read HER BLOG.. i dunoe.. i dunoe wat 2 sae.. nvm uhk.. itz all seems lyk my fault.. gud dat eu MOVE ON OREADI.. our friendship is all in da past.. nvm.. lyk eu sae.. ure gonna do wat i did 2 eu.. dun eu feel dat itz eu who...... nvm la.. 4get it.. i hate xplaining stuffs coz itz gonna get more complicated.. but 1 ting.. i lurve eu girl.. i reali wish eu all da bez.. yea.. i cant deny i mish eu.. mish da times wen we're stil close.. but now.. itz all diff.. ITZ ALL FREAKING DIFF.. tings change..

2006-10-07T01:32:00.000+08:00

cool.. diz is my 101 post.. alrite.. dat was random la.. hahak..

let jus sae.. da missingness subside wen i saw da DEAREST ONE juz now wen he pick me up under my blok..nasib baik puase..hehe.. damn i FRIGGING MISH HIM CAN.. 1 wk sia nvr mit.. rindu.. hehe.. alrite2.. stop it la phydi..

niwaes da dearest one pick me up @ nearly 3 in da aftanoon 2 send me wen i got my interview @ 3 itself... haha.. da student care was @ shepherd hill drive @ queenstown dere.. he's familiar wif da area dere.. so.. ya.. he send me dere.. while i had my interview.. sempat pulak die gi tpt keje die.. haha..

so ya.. had my interview.. cool place.. dealing wif special needs kidz.. i always wanted to try teachin dem.. diz kidz are special.. sum are so frigging smart sia.. i tink i take it as a challenge.. dunoe if dey wan 2 employ me.. but i tink my chances are high i guess coz i haf sum teaching background.. so ya.. hMmM.. c how la..

yea.. afta dat.. had my date wif da dearest one.. i wanna watch movie but dunoe where.. Hmm.. in da end decide 2 go Plaza Singapura.. so off we go.. while on da rd.. reach PS oreadi.. urs truly here.. said.. why not go THE CATHAY..hehe.. gatal kan.. ya.. so we went dere.. bought tix 4 YOU, ME & DUPREE..

hmm.. da show not bad uhk.. quite funni but not dat funni.. i actuali wanna watch JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE... BUT NO MORE OREADI.. UURGH!!So ya.. watch da show.. but ok la.. watch it if eu haf nutin 2 do.. hmmm.. did i tel eu.. da dearest one sleep while watchin da movie.. rite.. so afta dat.. da dearest one suggested goin bugis 2 buka.. mind eu wen we reach dere.. da place was pack & it was oreadi 745.. lapar giler seh.. so ya.. biasa jugak.. urs truly here ordered wanton noodles.. *yummylicious* while da dearest one ordered laksa wif xtra helpin of cockles.. haha.. habiz sia... mane tk lapar seh..

afta dat.. decide 2 chill @ esplanade.. hehe.. esplanade jugak.. dunoe wher else 2 go sia.. datz da nearest.. so ya.. chill dere..lotsa pple sia carry lantern.. catch up on stuffs.. left bout 10 plus.. den go izwa werkplace.. mit her.. so ya.. me & dearest one played on da swing while waitin 4 her 2 finish werk... how budak2 can we be.. throwin bottle & sand @ each other.. haha..

ya.. sumtimes itz irritating wen he always sleeps on da fone.. wait.. shud i sae everi nite.. but itz fun bein wif him.. he always makes my dae.. he makes me smile..now im smiling wen i tink of him.. a mth has past.. im happier.. much much happier.. yea..

alrite.. waitin 4 da dearest one 2 cal me.. he went off 1st coz he's mitin his frenz.. hMm.. later werkin uhk.. tired sia.. k la..

lotsa lurve,
phydi

2006-10-05T13:11:00.000+08:00

i bloghop 2 da 2 person dat are close 2 me..

MmMm.. i dunoe.. i guess tings change.. we're suppose 2 be accepting changes.. i MISH DA DARLING CUZIE WHO CRAP WIF ME..I MISH DA DARLING BESTIE WHO I HAD SINCE SEC SKUL.. yea.. eu guyz may sae i change or 4 da record eu guyz change 2.. i cant deny da fact dat i do.. but stil nobody noes wat im feeling inside..

i mish da times i spent wif dem..
i mish da times i crap wif dem..
i mish da times i shop wif dem..
i mish da times i gossip wif dem..
i mish da times i make myself silly in front of dem..

I DUNOE.. but i mish dem alot2 la.. I WISH I CUD TURN BACK DA TIME.. I WISH WE CUD BE CLOSE LYK B4.. but i noe myself well.. we CANT.. da crack is stil dere.. *sigh* tah la.. sumhow.. all diz shits dat happen taught me one ting.. dere's no 4eva in everyting.. even da closest person 2 eu may leave eu.. everyting happens 4 a reason..

sumtimes i wish i was perfect so i understand pple well & i avoid hurting da pple dat i close 2 me.. but hey nobody is perfect.. so why am i trying.. sumtimes i wish i was more matured so dat i cud read pple mind & their intention 4 doin da tings dey do.. SUMTIMES I WISH I WASNT WAT I AM..

CRAP LA PHYDI.. WHY SO EMO SIA??

Ouh da DEAREST ONE juz call ASKIN ME 2 WAKE UP 2 GO 2 WERK.. cant believe i accidentally slept in front of da laptop.. im sleepy la.. im tired.. i 4get dat i ask him 2 gif me a wake up call.. *stretching* *yawning*

uurgh!! im outta here.. nid 2 go get ready.. dunoe wat 2 wear sia..

ouh ya.. 1 mth has oreadi past..

fast sia..

i cant wait 2 mit him 2morrow.. 1 wk dint c him sia..

*toodles*

lotsa lurve,
phydi

2006-10-03T22:11:00.000+08:00

*tired*

since i start helping @ da bazaar.. i've been sleepin early.. huahuahua.. gd la..

2 start wif..

I WOKE UP LATE.. even a cal from da dearest @ 10 plus in da mornin.. dint wake me up.. hehe.. slalu bgn.. ni tk.. sadar2 da kul 1 55pm.. fuh..

bath.. clothes haven iron.. dunoe wat 2 wear.. juz grab my jeans.. a t shirt dat has been ironed.. rush loike hell sia..

went out @ 230pm.. inside train da dearest atuk cal me askin where am i cuz my uncle has been waitin 4 me.. reach @ 3.. hehe.. sorie la..

& I FOUND OUT.. I WAS ALONE.. uurgh!! BORED 2 DA MAX SIA.. luckily got new paper.. den oso busu came @ 4 plus lyk dat.. yeah!!

den came da guy who's helpin out @ da gerai nxt door.. GUESS WAT HE SAES..
his fren who came laz wk wanna get 2 noe me.. I WAS LYK HUH???? no wonder.. HE GAVE ME DA LOOK.. keep staring @ me.. aku buat keje pun tk betul seh.. he saes dat his fren ask him 2 help him get my number but since wkend i was not dere so ya.. he ask me juz now..

and GUESS WAT.. URS TRULY HERE SAES..

"ouh.. i oreadi got bf la.. So.. itz ok la.." i was smilin wen i sae dat.. hehe... but den wen i tink back.. hah! dat was funni.. it was da 1st time i sae NO wen pple wanna get 2 noe me.. & i was hapi i sae no.. Haf i change?? tink so.. hehe.. im glad la..

I MISH HIM UHK.. bear wif it.. 3 more daes..

k la.. tired sia.. wanna go sleep oreadi..

lotsa lurve from me..
phydi..

2006-10-02T20:56:00.000+08:00

alrite im back...

tired sia.. my legs in pain.. tired from standing..

i nid a massage.. ani1? hehe.. nah.. i tink i wanna my darling 2 massage me.. hehe..

2 start wif.. my parentz.. *sigh*

tah la.. aku penat sak.. lyk i tink my space is bein taken from dem.. lock me up.. dun let me go out la.. AARGH!! WATEVER LA..

can i sae sumtin here???

why do i keep seeing him everywhere???

can i juz 4 ONCE DUN C HIM???

damn him la.. uurgh!!

i dunoe watz wrong wif me.. he sae da break up was mutual.. we're stil frenz.. i did.. i try 2 smile.. but.. i CANT..

FATE IS TELLING ME SUMTING.. crapz la i tell eu.. IN DA PAST.. b4 we were even 2 gether.. i HARDLY.. alrite.. rarely.. now itz lyk everi few daes.. aargh!! FATE!! TELL ME BOUT IT..

BUT ITZ OVR.. why do feeling of guiltyness keep cumin back.. freaking hate it sia.. heard he oreadi GOT A NEW a gf.. I DUN EVEN FCUKIN CARE.. ITZ FREAKING OVER.. i noe my DARLING WILL BE BETTA DEN HIM.. yeah!! so 4get it la..

NVM LA..

in ani case.. i lukin 4ward 2 fri date... datz 4 more daes.. yeah!!

ps: 3 more daes 2 1 mth.. I CANT WAIT.. wOHoOoO..

2006-10-01T05:14:00.000+08:00

I NID TIME AWAY...

I FRIGGING HATE DEM...

GET IN2 URE FCUKING MIND.. IM 20 OREADI.. NOT A 2 YR OLD GIRL..

LET ME HAF MY OWN SPACE CAN??

DA SWOLLEN CHEEK REMINDS ME OF HOW EU SLAP ME THRICE..

DA BLUE BLACK BRUISES REMINDS OF HOW EU HIT ME HARD..

LET ME TELL EU GUYZ IM REBELLING EVEN MORE AFTA DIZ..

I NOE WAT IM DOING.. IM NOT A BABY 20 YRS AGO..

IM GROWING UP..

I WISH I CUD GET OF DIZ FCUKING HOUSE FAST..

I HATE EU GUYZ EVEN MORE..

IM NO LONGER DA SITI ZURAIDAH DAT EU NOE..

TRUST ME ON DAT..

2006-09-29T11:37:00.000+08:00

listening 2 shayne ward-NO PROMISES

alritey...

MmMm.. itz been a while since i blog.. tired uhk from werk.. sum more.. mum took away my laptop.. so ya.. lotsa tings 2 talk bout.. hmmm.. let me c...

lyf been pretty gud i guess.. Werking wif my uncle.. got 20 bucks per dae.. so ok la.. 4 my daily expenses.. if no werk.. NO MONEY.. hehe...

NIWAES.. 2 DAE IS MY MUM'S BDAE.. SO YA.. HAPPY BDAE MUMMY!! LETS BUKA LUAR KAES.. HEHE... i tink she's oreadi 46.. whoa...

niwaes.. Saw lotsa pple while helping out my uncle @ da bazaar dere.. HE oso came down.. ahakz.. saw farhan my sec skul fren.. he oso helpin out dere.. itz nyce 2 see old frenz.. hmmmm... helpin out dere.. standing.. can be tiring.. but 20 bucks 4 werkin lyk erm 4 hrs plus.. ok la..

yesterdae was my dae off.... Mit da dearest 1 @ dover mrt.. 2 cut story short.. HE TRICKED ME.. saying he dint ride his motorcycle.. luckily i was fasting.. i was being patient.. klau tk...

niwaes.. he sae wanna visit his fren coz his fren was involve in accident.. whoa.. rabak seh... i heard da gf was oso involve.. hmmm.. but stil dat does not shake my determination to TAKE MY BIKE LICENCE.. yeah.. haha..

afta dat went beach rd 2 eat.. den go geylang bazaar walk2.. pretty much nutin la.. hmmm... was lukin out 4 baju kurung wic are nyce2.. nutin caught my eyes la... hmmmm.... saw kak tina oso... hehe.. mish her la..

so.. 2dae werk again.. hmmm.. nvm la.. sat sun off.. YEAH!! WKENDS HERE I COME!! WOhOoOooO!!

PS: I MISH HIM LOTS... =)

2006-09-21T08:44:00.000+08:00

listening to I WILL STAY by ULTIMA THULE

*Coughing*

*sigh* been coughing badly diz past few daes.. getting sick.. i hate flu..irritatin sak..

niwaes.. lyf been pretty gud diz few daes.. da parentz was pretti nyce 2 me though.. i dunoe why.. mayb i agreed 2 help my uncle @ his stall startin from nxt wk.. funni ting wen i go out & reach hum by 10 plus.. da dad dint even scold me.. da mum even ask me whether i eat oreadi.. hmmmm...

alrite.. been mitin da dearest 1 alot diz daes.. hehe... oh wait.. shud i sae nearly everi dae?? dunoe why.. i mish him alot.. he makes me smile la but sumtimes kan.. cam nk cekik2 jer.. geram jugak ngn die.. But den i stil LURVE him.. =p

ouh ya.. i saw HIM yesterdae.. i juz pretended not 2 saw him... izwa ask me why da angry luk?? i noe i was wrong but i juz wan a payback.. am i revengeful?? i dun tink so.. coz i remember da laz few times i saw him.. i try 2 smile & HE DINT EVEN LUK MY WAE.. SO TELL ME WHY SHUD I SMILE @ HIM DIZ TYME?? Izwa told me wen he smile @ her.. he luk my wae.. hah!! dude.. im not gonna TRY SMILING @ eu again..

niwaes.. i juz realise da mac near my house got mac riders.. haha.. saw few bikes & da riders while eatin wif da dearest 1 @ mkn shiok yesterdae.. da dearest 1 scold me 4 bein mengatal.. hehe.. he was jealous la.. hehe.. saw dem again wen i was chillin out wif izwa @ nite.. i gotta admit one of dem was cute la.. hehe.. =p told diz 2 dearest 1 & i got scolded 4 bein mengatal..ala.. i play2 onli la.. not as if i reali mean it mah.. =p

i saw 1 cute rider who deliver mine on wed mornin bout 12 plus.. was talkin 2 izwa wen i told her i was hungry.. she suggested mac delivery.. hmmm.. alrite.. why not?? so i called & ordered mcwings meal.. i change da fries 2 curly fries.. da total was 8.50 wif delivery charge..

half AND hr later da door bell rang & mind eu it was 1230am wen my parentz was asleep.. quickly rush 2 da door.. dere stood a cute guy infront of me.. haha.. on da 1st look.. I TOT HE WAS CHINESE SIA..

me: erm.. how much??
him: uh.. lapan lima.. wic mean 8.50
*shocked coz he spoke in malay*
me: ouh okies.. lapan lima eh?
him: ya..
me: *hand him 10.50* uh.. itz alrite eu can keep da change..
him: he luk @ me.. coz he was trying 2 gif me da change..keep da change?
me: ya.. itz ok.. *smile*
him: ok. thank eu... he smile @ me..

hehe...

ps: remind me 2 order mc delivery AGAIN.. who noes.. dere's a chance dat da mc delivery guyz here mite send 2 my house.. hehe...

2006-09-18T12:02:00.000+08:00

Alrite.. im back & dere's lotsa tings 2 talk bout..

*strez* + *sick* + *missing him lots* = super strez sicky me..

replying da tag:

zima: hey girl.. i noe wat ure feeling..i read ure blog.. if eu read my past entries itz bout me, him & her.. i mean eu nvr noe diz feeling of lurve.. eu juz cant stop ureself.. all i can sae is.. try telling her wat happen.. i noe itz hard.. frenship may even suffer.. but decisions had been made.. ure wif him now.. sumtimes eu gotta listen 2 ureself.. ignore wat other are saying bout eu.. be strong kaes.. remember he choose 2 be wif eu.. itz eu he lurve.. mayb diz will make ure relationship wif him stronger.. gud luck in ure relationship..

ok2.. 4 a start.. my parentz are having a cold war wif me.. dey dint even talk 2 me.. dammit la.. all bcoz of laz sat...i juz wanna go out haf fun wif my frenz.. datz all.. 4 goodness sake.. IM 2O get it.. sampai bile korang nk control aku sak.. aargh!! fcuk it la.. i DUN GIF A DAMN!!

dad hit me.. he even prevented me from goin out.. guess im born STUBBORN!! on da pretext of goin kedai.. grab my wallet.. my fone.. I WENT OUT LYK DAT.. i aint gonna stay @ hum.. NOPE!! i nid 2 get away from dem..

izwa was waitin 4 me downstairs.. my eyes were swollen from crying.. called HIM up coz i msg him b4 dat telling wat happen.. he ask whether wanna mit up.. he ask who am i wif.. said wif izwa.. he oso wif his fren.. den decide 2 mit dem up.. & as expected.. he wif him fren reached bout 10pm.. decide go ct hall.. hmmm.. eat @ lau pa sat 1st.. den go esplanade.. mitin his fren was fun.. lyk dey were racing on da rd.. *shaking head* reach hum bout 2am..

DA PARENTZ.. dint even talk 2 me.. lyk wat i care.. da more dey control me.. DA MORE IM REBELLING.. LYK HELLO.. WHY CANT EU GUYZ SEE DA FACT DAT IM GROWING UP.. GIF ME MY SPACE CAN???

aargh!! relationship wif HER IS STIL ON DA ROCKS.. she went off 2 holland oreadi.. *sigh* i mish spendin & talkin & crappin wif her.. but it all change da moment HE CAME in2 our lives & my decision 2 be wif HIM..

wen iz diz gonna end??

2006-09-13T22:21:00.000+08:00

im here again 2 vent watever im feeling inside..
loike wat i care.. nobody reads it aniwae..
itz onli me.. blogging on wat i feel..
mayb itz gud diz wae.. i noe if i talk 2 sum1 i ended up scolding da person who's listenin 2 me..

*sigh* tah la.. im tired oreadi arh.. im tired of tinkin & caring wat pple feel.. now im being accused of goin 2 pple wen im lonely or watever it is.. but wen dey cum 2 me & talk 2 me bout their prob & cry 2 me.. wat did i do? i listen 2 dem.. lend a shoulder.. I try 2 be a fren.. DID I ASK WHY? DID I MAKE A BIG FUSS ON WAT HAPPEN?? NO.. I DINT.. i was being me..
but wen it came 2 me.. i onli make a new fren & I ENDED UP BEIN.... AARGH!! watever crap arh.. dun care uhk..

told izwa on wat im facing now.. my relationship wif him.. da comments dat im getting.. she sae juz be strong.. dun care wat others sae coz itz me who's in da relationship.. eu cant PLS EVERI1.. but fcuk sia.. why cant da 2 person closest 2 me gif me their support??

i noe itz wrong 2 fall 4 him.. but i cant help it.. da feelings juz came 2 me.. i dunoe.. i was tinkin twice bout accepting him.. i try 2 consider HER feelings but i juz cant help it.. i juz loike him.. & not bcoz of his bike.. i DUN EVEN CARE BOUT HIS BIKE.. eu guyz shud noe me More den dat.. tah la.. sumtimes i wish tings dint came 2 diz.. nobody noe how bad im feeling now..

NO1..

2006-09-10T20:25:00.000+08:00

read her blog..

*sigh*

why muz diz be happening?? i damn fuckin sense it yesterdae wen we were out wif dem.. we onli TALK WAT WE ARE SUPPOSE 2.. it was SO NOT US.. where's da joke dat we use 2 crack among us? we dint even gossips bout others.. IT WAS NOT US.. we were pretending 2 be fine.. & DAMMIT I HATE IT..

i mish talking.. i mish crapping wif eu.. i noe tings changed.. tings change btwn US afta "he" came in2 our lives.. but i dint expect it 2 happen.. ok.. ya.. i admit i do loike him.. I DO.. now itz da consequences i haf 2 face it from pple.. not onli from eu... from my frenz 2.. eu TINK I LOIKE IT IZIT?? im breaking down inside from da pressure pple gif me.. i noe i hurt lotsa pple wif my decisons..

I NOE URE RUNNING AWAY FROM ME.. RUNNING AWAY FROM HIM.. I NOE BEING WIF HIM WILL HURT DA BOTH OF EU.. I NOE IT DAMN WELL.. BUT.. I SORIE 4 DA DECISION I MADE.. EU DUNOE HOW HURT AM I WIF DA COMMENTS DAT PPLE GIF ME WEN IM WIF HIM.. PPLE MAY SAY IM SELFISH BUT IZIT WRONG 4 LURVE?? I NOE DA BOTH OF EU SACRIFICE 4 DA BOTH OF US.. I DUN WANNA LOSE FRENSHIP.. I DUN WANNA LOSE LURVE.. CAL ME SELFISH IF EU WAN BUT EU MEAN ALOT 2 ME & I FOUND SUM1 WHO LOIKES ME & I LOIKES HIM IN RETURN & ITZ HARD 4 ME 2 LET GO..

I CRIED WEN I READ URE BLOG.. LYK WAT I CARE WAT PPLE TINK.. I NOE I HURT DA BOTH OF EU.. IM SORIE 4 DA DECISION I MADE.. NOBODY NOES DA PAIN IM FACING NOW.. DA PRESSURE OF BEING WIF HIM.. BUT STIL I STOOD BY MY DECISION.. TINGS AINT DA SAME BTWN US ANIMORE.. I JUZ WISH IT WUD.. BUT I NOE IT WUN..

2006-09-10T08:38:00.000+08:00

guess where diz is taken from...

on top of da expressway.. freaking cool rite?? =p

niwaes.. met up wif darling cuzins azura & fadzuly (ee) yesterdae.. bro tag along 2..

met up @ lucky plaza 2 eat.. coincidentally both azura &amp;amp; ee wear green & me & bro wore red.. ahakz.. short of orange & we are loike TRAFFIC LITE.. muahaha..

hmmm.. planning 2 go straight 2 esplanade 2 chill out but we end up @ da wrong bus stop..haha.. den azura ask whether we wanna sit on top of expressway anot.. so i was lyk HUH?????? WHERE SIA??? nvr heard of it b4..

so.. we were from behind taka... walk 2 sommerset.. turns out muz walk inside da bars near centrepoint.. den walk inside where dere are private houses den walk again.. ee was complaining.. hehe...

reach dere onli.. i was lyk... whoa... cool.. but IM SCARED..YESH IM SCARED!! haha.. my legs were hanging.. takot seh.. but it was cool la.. chill & talk.. & dey smoke.. den came along diz gp of teenagers.. dey oso sat dere.. haha.. dint noe can go down oso.. haiya.. hard la 2 explain.. hehe..

hmmm.. den decide 2 go esplanade chill out again.. reach onli.. i drag azura go 711.. i wan potato salad.. hmmm.. along da wae.. saw @ memo.. pple kena screen wif 4 police cars i tink.. byk seh..

niwaes.. reach 711.. DUN HAF POTATO SALAD.. AARGH!! nvm.. bought snacks & drinks.. while walking back ops padang.. saw ashiff.. he was wif his skinheads frenz.. but dey were having a misunderstandin wid duno who..

tot of saying hi 2 him.. but decide not 2.. dun wanna get myself involve.. hmmm.. *sigh* tah la..

aniwaes.. juz feel tings are not da same btwn me & cuzie.. our frenship are not da same animore.. sumhow we dint reali talk much.. juz wish tings will be da same btwn us.. i juz dunoe how 2 explain tings 2 her.. tah la.. c how tings goes..

tings wif bestie is oso not da same animore.. lyk wth izit always my fault.. why izit wen i found sum1 2 be frenz wif she always sae im chucking her aside.. den wat bout her? wen she always wif her guy did i sae anitin.. NO.. I DINT.. den... why she.......??? aargh!! fuck la...

ouh ya.. i tink i finalli THOUGHT BOUT TINGS... I WAS CHEATED OF MY TRUST.. da past 2 mths eu cheated me of my feelings & my FRENSHIP WIF EU.. i keep asking whether eu now gt gf.. eu keep saying NO.. BUT IM HAPI DAT IM OVR EU.. i noe i will not regret letting go MY FEELINGS4 EU... IM HAPPIER NOW..

i tink da song from plain white ts (hate i reali dont like eu) so suit wat im feeling now.. ouh WATEVER..

ps: Ouh ya.. eu make me smile lyk a crazy fool in lurve again.. & diz time i reali meant it..

2006-09-08T03:41:00.000+08:00

why does it haf 2 be diz way?

yuh.. i haf him by my side now..

eu noe.. i nvr meant tings 2 turn out da wae dey are..

& freaking shit.. i haf been feeling guilty eva since..

wat do pple noe??

nutin..

i haf my reason 4 da tings dat i do...

*sigh*

i reali feel hurt..

im breaking down inside..

beyond my smile & my laughter..

ya.. i may seem hapi..

but deep down inside.. nobody noes..

pple been drifting apart from me..

not dat i dun try 2 mend but dey dun gif me a chance 2.. Dey are avoiding me..

den in da end.. DEY SAE..

ITZ MY FREAKING FAULT!!!

lyk WTF!!

and running from it wont solve da problem..

2006-09-05T05:51:00.000+08:00

yeahness..

lyk finally i can sleep wif a smile on my face.. =)

thkz dude.. eu always make my dae..

*hugs & kisses*

2006-09-03T02:45:00.000+08:00

alrite.. had cuzies dae out.. yeahness... fun.. giler seh ngn diorang.. itz been a while since i saw dem..

niwaes.. woke up @ 330pm.. muahaha.. cuzie azura told me 2 mit @ 445pm laz cabin jurong east.. wen jaja cal me @ 440pm i was stil @ hum.. so told her mit @ 5pm.. wen in fact we're mitin da others @ 515pm.. found out fadzuly was oreadi @ ct hall.. haha.. cepat seh.... reach ct hall @ 530pm.. ni la die janji melayu.. =p

den decide 2 go eat @ burger king @ raffles city.. wawa mit us dere.. kecoh seh diorang.. haha.. but it was fun la.. planning 2 go bowling but den onli wawa noes bowling.. muahaha.. so we decide 2 play pool @ marina square.. haha.. i wanna join in but den itz been LYK 2 YRS SIA SINCE I PLAY POOL.. so i dint join in.. buat malu jer.. hehe.. afta dat.. went esplanade.. chill out.. haha.. took bus hum.. i slept in da bus..tired & sleepy..

but it was fun la wif dem..

alrite.. here's da pic wen dey play pool...